What’s your flavour…?

I really thought the race for the award of the most annoying aural entity right now was so far gone we had a closed list. In the skimpy outfit and the equine-nose we had Nicole Fox as the leading contender; not just her semetic-esque nasal drain is friggan annoying but also the frivolous content of what she finds as a quality radio entertainment.

Contrary to popular belief crass sexual jokes, the latest in fashion indiscretions and any information about celebrity eating habits is not interesting stuff to hear. Nicole is definitely starting to stamp her name all over the title but for the surprise challenge from the music coordinator of Virgin Active

I’ve never seen him but just know him for what comes out of the speakers above the rowing machines. You know what I’m talking about? Take nothing away from him as I am sure his mixing board skills are right up there with Carl Cox as it must be difficult to take a pretty decent Coldplay song and overlay it on one of those songs from one of those CDs that gets advertised during currie cup halftime ad slots when the Pumas play the Griffons. Doof doof doof Let’s Taaaalk doof doof and then the concertina cuts in for a solo.

However, recent events have caused concern for both Nicole and DJ Roodepoort as neither is secured the silver, let alone the gold, medal. What is amazing is the origin of this aural irritation as it comes from a brand that has a reputation for being funny, impressive and pertinent.

Now they have a radio ad that is so possibly nauseating it rivals the wave that hit me when England won the 2003 World Cup and they sung ‘Sweet Chariots’ and so irritating it rivals the gentleman of African decent that used to announce awaiting phone calls to other students in res during first-year.


If I ever have to hear the words, ‘Nandoes Flavour chicken’ in that exasperating voice again I will tear the speakers our of my car fill them with rancid chicken livers and hide them in the air-conditioning duct of the abhorrent advertising agency that made the ad. Not only is the jingle lank stupid but they use this arrays of voices that would make any sane person book a week holiday in Valkenberg as opposed to the Sheraton. The main voice sounds like a garbled amalgamation of the Portuguese chapter of the chipmunks and the guy who does the voiceover for those Michael Naicker inserts.

I must admit I detest the ad but do have the power to switch off the radio however the friggan idiots who step out of their car and then hum this jingle to the outside world (in the words of Garfield) need to be “dragged out into the street and shot…”