Guy from somewhere in town hates The Percentage Man. "This is the guy that whilst gelling his hair in preparation for his big night out practices an entire repertoire of spade-lines and introductions, he has committed to memory from “How to Seduce and Succeed” in the mirror. He accompanies this rendition with sneaky winks and the double-handed firing a fake pistol manoeuvre accompanied by the Kalahari.net adverts sound bites. He then pauses for one last look and says: “we’re good to go Boytjie! Click click.” Most people who talk in the 3rd person and refer to themselves as ‘boytjie’, should be stripped naked, tied up, doused in Vaseline and left to squirm in the cubicle of a Sea Point nightclub’s bathroom, this however is not the reason I hate this guy. He is the moron that uses the mega-memory system to arm himself with an impressive array of corny one-liners that he then uses systematically on every girl in a nightclub.
-------------------------------------Click Click
His theory is that if he approaches 200 girls, at least one will fall into his trap. So he starts with the hottest girl and then works down the looks ladder until lucky number 183 when he succeeds albeit well below the 0 point range. Great for him cause now he can sport his ‘I hit that!’ tshirt at breakfast tomorrow but crappy for us. And I hate him for it. There are possibly 5 to 10 such guys at any club on any one night. Do the math! That means that by 11pm every good-looking girl has been on the receiving end of 5 to 10 douchebag quotes. The result? Ever girl now has her, ‘god men are idiots face’ on and she is less approachable than Florida if you are of Haitian decent. She is convinced that the next guy will be like the first 5 and so she immediately throws out the big don’t argue! I know this shouldn’t affect me, but you’re ruining the chances of my lesser looking mates. Fuck off back to the bathroom floor of Cruz boytjie…"
[Guy raises an interesting point. These fuckers need to be rounded up and stopped. Thankfully they are easy to identify...]
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