RSLJ: Article 3 How not to be a rockstar.

You’re only lying to yourself…

I’m a real man 'cause I drink a fuck load, I spend this much cash each night, I drive lank quickly and my golf handicap is in single digits!

There are many traits that separate rockstars from those other exceptionally un-rockstarish people out there but none more so than the virtue of honesty. Rockstars don’t feel the need to pretend to be something they’re not, they don't need to lie about who they are, or where they've come from (I think I feel a song coming on). Non-rockstars tend to do more pretending than Bangladesh does as a Test cricketing nations.

You can easily spot these 'quote machines'. They’re the one sporting the vest and the sideways trucker ‘quoting’ to some doll about how much of this they did or how hectic they are at that. Interestingly enough, this self-same technique is used to garner the affections of the opposite sex. They create these ‘amazing’ fabricated tales with more spice than a 17th century Dutch merchant trading vessel and relate them to any unsuspecting female while leaning against a bar counter and pensively staring off into the distance.

------------------------------------Quote Machines: Brainless

But, they're not only lying to the naïve chick at the bar, they're lying to themselves. They quote with such conviction that it seems they actually believe it themselves. Clearly they consider themselves inherently so worthless that they need to fabricate this alter ego of a harder-core image and masquerade as that instead. (This, of course, only goes to show that they were right all along.)

Now, I do not assume to have the authority to claim I understand the intricacies of the female mind, nor what they want from guys! But, do they want the guy who ‘got fucked drinking tequila through a straw all night; ended up staying so late he was the last to leave; got into a street fight with 15 guys from which he escaped without a scratch; drove himself home; managed to lie (very convincingly - obviously) his way through two road blocks; had an hour's sleep; woke up and had a beer for breakfast?'

Let's be perfectly honest. If you feel you have to engineer a character in order for a girl to like you, then is she really the type of girl who’s affection you so badly need? Surely if you have to lie to get something its not worth the getting? And if you have to lie to be liked you’re not worth liking. But, and we'll give you this - you're doing a damn fine impression of how not to be a rockstar.