RSLJ Article 2: How do you like them apples?

Apples: My mom (bless the showstopper) was fond of explaining to me (usually after I had been forced to bully some good-for-nothing schoolyard idiot) how one bad apple could make a bowl perfectly fine, good-to-eat apples rot. Now I'm fairly sure that the analogy applied to badly-behaved - okay, I was a problem child - kids, but it could just as easily be extended to cover that proportion of the female population fondly termed crackwhores.


Back in the good old days, when McGyver made the mullet cool, it was the case that the good apples outnumbered the bad apples. Lately, however, it seems the rot has set in.

Now we're not saying that all apples are bad, just the ones who act it. (In case you're still lost at this point - apples are a running metaphor for girls - the sweet juicy ones amount to showstoppers and those that are rotting can best be described as filthy crackwhores.)

Of course, no apple would ever classify herself as bad, however we say - if the belt-of-an-excuse of a skirt fits, wear it.

Not, that such creatures (or fruit) are without their uses. A rotten apple can easily seem enticing at first glance. Of course, you're probably not the first one who has been fooled by the outward appearance - in fact, you're probably not even the 31st.

Due to the fact that rotten apples spread so easily (pun intendend) they are never alone, and thus, even easier to identify. You can always recognise such a pack of apples as they will be the group with the least wrapping on regardless of how muddy or cold the conditions (at the rugby club) are. They dress flaunting nothing but sex, since they don’t have anything else to flaunt. They will be the ones dancing on the bar offering to pull into each other. They’re the ones that make glossy magazine covers of themselves and refer to themselves as ‘fantastic’.
They’re the type of girl that a rockstar would happily pretend to go out with and masquerade as a couple just so he can so easily get, what she so easily hands out. In fact, she so easily hands it out, she'll probably hand it out to other guys while being in the said ‘relationship’ - to be expected though.

The thing about these girls is, they act like absolute crackwhores and then expect to get treated with respect. My mom always said that the price of an apple is determined by its quality, I guess that price is to bad apples as respect is to crackwhores.

UPDATE:

Want to know find out if your ladyfriend is a bad apple?
Check this out ... Go on, I dare you.