Miam Miam. Friday night full. You there with your Group. Nonchalantly leaning against the bar sipping your Millers. Effortlessly tossing out that rockstarish vibe. There is little doubt you’re a lead contender for the next free chicken burger voucher. Up sidles that saucy little blonde girl and…
In a place where the atmosphere is more sex charged than an open-cast funeral of a deceased member of a necrophiliac support group and where the only things more abundant than (excruciatingly) loud music are expensive drinks and expensive looking women one thing is bound to happen. Someone is going to come right. If you’re the guy. Great. If you’re not the guy but the saucy little blonde girl is your girlfriend…not so great.It happens. It happens more often than you think. It doesn’t happen more often than the situation where the guy cheats on the girl but that’s not my concern here. The crackwhore (saucy blonde girl) is not my concern either. As long as she thinks of me when she has another drink and drives herself home I’m content. [thanks Brand New] My concern is the 3rd party. The guy that drove the wrecking ball through your palatial little love nest.
It is very difficult to find a norm or rule to follow in such circumstances as every case is unique in its context and content. The (rhetorical) question I ask is what kind of guy kisses a doll that is in a committed relationship? I come up with 4 types:
Type A: Mr Bona Fide, aka Mr ‘I-really-hadn’t-a-clue’
The unsuspecting guy who, in good-faith, yielded to the pressure of the advances from Miss Saucy Blondgirl’s extravagant offensive pull tactics and really hadn’t a clue she had a boyfriend. This type is the most rare as such a situation is very uncommon. It takes two to tango but one to poll-dance. Type A would have to be a complete rockstar to warrant such advances and Ms SB an utter crackwhore. 3rd Party 0 CW 1.
Type B: Mr Bob 'Deepthroat' Woodward, aka Mr ‘I-really-did-know-but-will-claim-I-didn’t’
This guy gets wind that Ms SB does in fact carry the stamp of another guy but works on the theory that if he doesn’t know the boyfriend, the boyfriend isn’t there to stop it and she is up for it then what the hell. This is a very defendable position but still enough to get the home-wrecking t-shirt, so half a point. The chicks obviously played a big role in letting it happen…bitch. 3rd Party ½ CW 2.
Type C: Mr Bulenani Ngcuka, aka Mr ‘We-have-mutual-friends’
This guys a fuck. He doesn’t know you personally but he’s heard of you. (tricky for Rockstars as many people have heard of us) Put it this way, he knows people that know you and they know that this tight little piece of blonde ass in the saucy little skirt is meant for your exclusive connubial pleasure. Whether she played a proactive role in the action of deceit or not is irrelevant as she qualifies for a point by allowing it. 3rd Party 1 ½ CW 3.
Type D: Mr Judas, aka Mr ‘Sorry-can-I-have-my-knife-back-when-your-back-is-done-with-it?’
This guy is a world-class snake in the grass. This two faced prick masquerades as your blood buddy during the day but at night turns into a blonde stealing bastard. He will dance with her, flirt with her, sms her, compliment her and buy her drinks, and when your back is turned he’ll snake her. He wrote the book on home-wrecking and prefers to implode the building than use the ball. 2 points. But as with everything in life, the wheel comes full circle and so will his irate ex-mates 16” alloy mag over his head…
------------------------Final Score: 3rd Party 3 ½ CW 4.
Moral: In most scenarios the guys are at fault but ultimately the girl always is…
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