Revenge Attack or Bird Flu:

This just in: This past Thursday, around late evening, what can only be described as a horrible incident occurred in front of what can only be described as the castle from ‘Chitty-chitty-Bang-Bang’. The incident has left authorities perplexed and the international community mournful.

Interpol is handling the issue (an issue involving someone of such high international stature requires it) and confirmed that since Nandoes publicly denied any involvement whatsoever there can be only one explanation: That we at the Rockstar Journals are to blame…

Experts are investigating whether a recent Rockstar posting concerning the deceased, indirectly, inflamed and instigated a vicious rumour of paedophilic tendancies on behalf of the victim and the resultant public backlash has been a spree of vigilante type attacks. We don’t accept liability but do think it possible.

However we haven’t ruled out bird flu…