Saturday, October 01, 2005

Conspiracy Theories ...

JFK was shot by three gunmen, Princess Diana was assasinated by MI6, the pyramids were built by aliens, the Apollo 11 moon landings were faked and George W. Bush is really a cold-blooded reptile, and the Wallabies use steroids and get away with it. All conspiracy theories which the average human being wouldn't waste his time investigating, or believing. (Except the last two which everyone knows are true.)

Luckily for you, I'm not the average human being - far from (or is it beyond) it. Not that I have the requisite time or patience or look into these ridiculous rumours either, but I do have time to formulate some of my own, proudly South African ones. Right, buckle up girls and boys, it's going to get bumpy.

1) Brett Kebble was assassinated by the Sunday Times so that they had something to write about for once, and so that someone would actually buy their paper.
2) Apartheid was some sort of huge 'conspiracy' to keep black people downtrodden, and take all the riches of Africa for white people.
3) Maties (Stellenbosch 1st XV) threw their game against Vics (Stellenbosch 2nd XV) so that Vics could avoid relegation.

The beauty of these theories, they're all probably true. So you can't disprove me. And that makes me right. And better than you.


Rumours that Stellenbosch used reptilian Afrikaners to get

Princess Diana to assassinate JFK were never proved. Or disproved

No comments: