FBW...

One of my good friends pointed out something very interesting this past weekend. More importantly it was a positive point (positive being relative) on a subject I only denounce as worthless and plain fuckin stoopid.

I hate facebook, it's gay. But as things evolve and develop new things are created and facebook has surprisingly given rise to a very interesting development. Facebook Whores...

You see, many of us regardless of talent or charm approach girls at bars that need to be approached. There are of course the other type of 'no need to approach girls' who are again split into two groups: those that approach you (sluts, or forward thinking showstoppers) and ugly girls. Right, so you get where this is going.

All the average girls need to be approached. Most guys do it in bars and clubs, although there do exist those friggan idiots who approach girls whilst they're on the treadmill or walking into the ladies room. [some guys even loiter around the watercooler or the ladies room waiting for her to exit but let us exclude those freaks for the time being] Back to the venue at which to approach, MH rates movie and book stores the best place to approach decent ladies whilst us at Rockstar Web, laud those venues but add petrol stations, coffee shops, the library and bank queues.

I should have validated this tangent by actually saying you should never consider approaching a girl but I'll save that for an Article sometime. Moreover, let's return to what facebook has created.

As premised, your average guy approaches your girl varying in degrees of averageness and he has to do what is necessary to convince her to take her clothes off. Some guys use charm, some you booze, some use their looks and some just have to exclude the possibility that they're a pervert; but the basics of it is that the guy has to do the 'ground' work to get into her head, so she can give you it.

Now this initial exchange is just like two boxers checking each other out in the first round. A jab here, a feigned left there. Nothing physical; just making sure you want to spit out your gumguard and attack below my belt.

From the girls point of view, she has to convince the guy that she is not too outwardly dirty, or a freak, or atleast hide the fact long enough, for the guy to succumb to her beastly sexual advances. May I point out that this all starts on the dancefloor, next to the bar, near the non-fiction area, behind the foreign films shelf, up against the Columbian Roast display counter.

But the mexican showdown leading to a brazilian rainshower no longer happens in the aforementioned eye contact situations, because (and I have this on good authority) it happens in knowledge commons, internet cafes and in Wifi zones.

Little crackwhores and manwhores have found a way to circumnavigate the first phase of intergender skirmishes and replaced it with Facebook. You see these Facebook Whores [FBW] now invite friendship after checking out a quarterinch photo, poke each other electronically, post a baity wall message and wham bam thank you ma'am, they arrive at an aforeagreed upon venue and go straight to phase 2.

You want that again in slower english:

(i) Girl sees guy in friend column of mutual friend.
(ii) Girl send flirtatious friend invite.
(iii) Guy pokes girl.
(iv) Girl writes something pathetic and spelt incorrectly on guy's wall.
(v) Agree to bump into each other at Caprice.
(vi) Walk in at 21h45. See each other at bar.
(vii) 21h47 Girl and guy walk out ready to show each other their hard drives.

Quick easy and without any unnecessary conversation. Now this might sound enticing and the perfect way to start an evening but lets get realistic here.


Taking away that important first interchange is like taking the boom off a parking lot or the bouncer away from a club entrance. You don't know what kind of scum is going to try park in your space or drink from you bottle.

The way I see it is if a girl is so easy to hook up like this she may aswell have arrived not wearing any clothes, all lathered up in KY screaming $1 $1! Go to Whore College you slut, you'll pass cum laude...