Die Hard 8.0

The white man in South Africa needs to take a step back, look at his black brother and realise that there is a specific way you go about things if you want to achieve change.

The new wave...

Parliament yesterday passed a Bill that would finally bring an end to those pesky Scorpion fuckers that keep taking Parliamentarians into questioning regarding how they send their offspring to private schools, and wives for 5 star tourist jaunts paying with travelers cheques. You can always spot a good MP on a Friday afternoon at the liquor depot buying a bottle of Hennessey and crate of black label quartzs and tendering voyager miles as cash.

Parliament take on average 4 or 5 years to pass a bill. But when they really need the Bill, or face having to return your daughter´s new X3, wham bang, 100 hours later and we have no special directorate of investigations to check under the mattresses of MPs. There is a strong lesson to be taken here.

Pronking for deer life..?

Nkosi Comrade JZ wants prosecutions to be dropped. Wham bang a hundred and thirty thousand, newly privatized mini bus taxis descended into the dustbowl that is Maritzburg, and play nothing but hard base kwaito until the presiding officer drops the ball. There is a strong lesson to be taken here.

Kaizer Chiefs want to make the final of that cool soccer competition where the public vote via sms to select the challengers. Wham bang 43 millions smses are sent off vodacoms website in 37 minutes.There is a strong lesson to be taken here.

Today the Cape Times reported that disgruntled white people are up in arms about the Sports Ministries attack on their Bok emblem, wham bang, 8 people marched down Roeland street to Parliament yesterday.

Uniform item 3: Standard issue outdated bonehead eye apparel.

Oh my fuck arre you kidding. 8 people. Just 8 people? Were the other 99 992 caught in traffic?

You can´t play a competitive game of touch with 8 people. There were probably more people ordering those cute pink cupcakes at Charlie´s Bakery on the way down Roeland. Brothers can fit more than 8 people on the back seat of a newly privatized minibus taxi. MPs can take more family members on overseas holidays with one flight coupon. Puke Watson could invite more people over for a braai and USN shake. Okay, that is a lie but you get my point.

I would also assume that this massive mob of Bok protesters are uber stoked at making it into the papers this morning. Although I am not sure if people laughing at the ridiculousness of the sight of 8 irate marchers is akin to getting your point across.

I wish I could have seen the face of the security guard at the pearly gates. He must have been pissing him. ¨eh, please stand behind the stantion sir! eh, protesting? eh...and then¨.

I wonder if the lead Springbok zealot turned to his army and cried, ´Bokke, what are your profession?´ Marvelous.

Apparently they were disbanded in an orderly fashion before 2pm though and the Cape Town Elderly Women Against Drugs and Senseless Killing had amassed 9 people to march on Parliament to save the Robben Island rabbits. They had 9 supporters, one more than the Bok.