Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Ugly People Flirting: Act 1 Scene 1...


(It was a dark and stormy Cape Town winters day and the UCT Commerce Computer Labs were full. Enter the two lead characters from right of stage...)

Fat, Balding, Spectacled Guy (FBSG): Let's open g-mail accounts together

(unwittingly or not initiating a bout of flirty banter as graceful as the Bolshoi Ballet)

Afrikaans Red-haired Girl with Hairlip (ARGH - see what I did there): But I are not knowing how

FBSG: Thats ok I will guide you through it

ARGH: What must I put my address as?

FBSG: Whatever you want

ARGH: Do I have to make it my name?

FBSG: Whatever you want


(She gets worked up, unleashing a barrage of questions at the unassuming FBSG and seeming as though her red hair is about to catch on fire for real)


ARGH: Do I have to put my surname as well? Should I put a dot between my name and surname because I've seen lots of people with that. Why's it not working?

(He pays her a compliment in a blatant attempt to sweet talk her into bed)

FBSG: You're a clever girl, I'm sure you can work it out

ARGH: Dankie. I like your boep. Let's go naai.

(They exit the stage to the right, leaving the only audience member nauseous)

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