@#$%!

The most expressive, versatile and probably most common word in the world unfortunately shouldn't be used in the presence of approximately half the world. This is a pity as this generic term does have infinite usages. However this unwritten rule of verbal ettiquette is hard to abide to for two reasons.


Firstly, most women are not shy to throw around profanity and in fact some can swear for about an hour without even repeating themselves. If you didn't know any better you would think you were on the deck of the Black Pearl as opposed to an all female chardonnay fuelled book club meeting. The second reason is that these same females to whom you are meant to control your tongue in front of are the same that so strongly advocate gender equality. You want to be equal honey, then you fucking well don't demand me to change the way I talk in front of you...

My sentiments, and lewd tongue, will not change the fact that profanity will remain taboo in linguistic culture, although sometimes it is just unavoidable. I was emailed this documenting the expert usage of it through history...

They are as follows:

11. "What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?" -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -- Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -- Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -- Picasso, 1926
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" -- Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want! WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" -- Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the @#$% are we?" -- Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" -- Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" -- Bill Clinton, 1999
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad." -- SadaamHussein, 2003