Bullshit!

I let very few things piss me off to the extent that I actually want to do something about it. At the end of Shrek 2 when the big green couple had the option of living the rest of their lives as hot humans and they refused, I didn’t email DreamWorks and say “come the fuck on…”! When SANZA gave SA another franchise for the expanded Super 14, I didn’t make “At least the Stormers won’t come last!” t-shirts. When the Wynberg magistrate confiscated my license I didn’t appeal! When Katie Holmes started partaking in statutory rape of Frankie Muniz's little brother I didn’t bitch and moan or…err…make Free Katie shirts…

You see? Pretty much an easy going laid back kinda guy…! However some things are just so erroneous and iniquitous to society that I have to get off my lazyboy and do something. I took a big fish to task on this matter, and since I am a huge advocate of equality so will heed a lesser fish no mercy.

Earlier Nancy Gibbs (23-12-2005) felt the wrath of the rockstar muscle for her ambiguous use of the term. You should hopefully see the sarcasm in my reference to wrath as we all know she hardly gives a full page advert space for webbloggers that gripe her use of the English language. Knowledge of this before writing my view didn’t sway me from sticking it to The MAN (the gender inclusive man) and neither does the purposelessness of my view now dissuade me…

I came across another incorrect usage of our beloved term during my yuletide net surfing. It pissed me off that the text on the site is written in white and to ‘cut and paste’ it you have to change the colour to read it. Fucking annoying but as I said, I am an amiable kinda guy… (besides I suppose blue on white is used by splattermail.org, and borrowing their idea would make you no better than someone who steals from say... wwtdd.com…like…um splattermail!) I digress.

Here is the kicker: “It's true, anyone in Cape Town can be a rock star. Christmas obviously bestowed some new shades upon the faces of our pseudo rock stars.”

What the fuck??? Everyone in Cape Town can not be a rockstar!!! You need a webblog specifically stating you are one. It’s like a 00 license to kill; you can’t buy such decorum at 7eleven. Admittedly the second sentence is more correct in that it implies these people masquerade as rockstar when in fact are very far from it. That’s believable.

But an audacious quote giving hope to the little people out there is just cruel. It’s like letting a white guy compete for the 100m Olympic gold. Why don’t you just rip his heart out and stand on it and save him the embarrassment of only crossing the finishing line when the black panthers are halfway through their victory lap…

How many cape town cockdiesels lay on their beds that night making a mental note to replace muay thai gloves with rockstardom on their next xmas list???

Okay, so the quote is probably a little out of context and there were some high points in the article, but the rockstar references are totally incorrect and off beam. The author even goes as far to imply that if you drive a Citi golf you are not a rockstar. Swear to god it is there in the text, just narrow your eyes from the glare.

What so I guess you have to drive a 2001 Golf 4 GTI to be cool, or does that also fall into the 'cars not considered rockstarish' category? It’s not what was on the price tag bud; it’s who is behind the wheel…!