Protecting the innocent...

I have been waiting on the Auckland police for some time now to lay we a factual foundation from which I can ridicule the English rugby side. Handing them a 2-0 series thumping was never going to be enough for me, so once the media latched onto the rape ´allegation´ against four of the players over an 18 year old kiwi girl I thought I would bide my time until the truth came out. The truth hasn´t come out...

However, what has come out over the recent week (besides Matthew Tait from the closet - always a good alibi against a rape charge, even though he was never charged) is that the alleged victim was young Sophie Lewis aka Angel Barbie who happens to be a ´model´. Funnily enough, models don´t usually adopt a screen name like Angel Barbie. Such names are reserved for the porn industry.

Your mom´s maiden name and your first pets name...

Premised on her being the victim I searched the interweb and uncovered a morass of conflicting stories. Lewis aka Doggy style barbie was not the alleged rape victim but rather another girl that another player David Strettle used as his alibi. ´it couldn´t huv been me, guv, I was with this fine young lass...´

I found a picture of young Lewis and must rush to the defence of the 4 alleged rape accused. They might be criminals but they didn´t screw her I promise. That criminal is Strettle. He should have stayed in the closet with Tait.

Auckland police have not released the name of the young girl (¨victim¨) and have not made in charges after their investigation.

Addendum:


The feisty four have been named:

Danny Care, David Strettle, Topsy Ojo and Mike Brown!

Now this conflicts with me defending the awesome foursome from being guilty of slapping around an ugly girl, but now that Strettle is involved, me thinks Sophie was the girl. Doesn't look 18 though. Maybe 18 out of a 100 and the Auckland police didn't feel like shaming the guys for choosing an ugly chick...

I am guessing Ojo was last...

Strange how they are all outside backs, except Care who is a 7s convert scrumhalf. I wonder if there is a direct correlation between pace and the inclination to tag team with your mates. if so that puts myself, Docstar and Tyson Gay in line for a triple whammy...

Oh what beautiful blue eyes you have, I didn't notice them under the red lights of the 'revenue bar' in which we met..!

Oh and love this. This is the shot of said ugly girl in the Sun tabloid online. It seems the Sun online editors are fairly skilled at photo shop. Strettle should hire them for his team photo...