Barry White ...

I have never been to New Zealand, in fact the closest I have ever got was when I flew over Singapore, and I certainly have no one on my blood line that is even remotely from NZ. However when the mighty AB’s host the Springboks at the House of Pain this weekend for the Tri-nations decider I won’t be wearing green or humming shosholoza, I’ll have a fern on my chest and black blood running through my heart…

I have supported the All Blacks since I was old enough to tell the difference between champagne rugby and the 10-man game plan and haven’t looked back. My trophy cabinet is pretty well stocked with silverware but I don’t have a Bill Webb Ellis trophy to flaunt, and it doesn’t matter to me cause I choose the teams I support like I choose my women, the most attractive one gets the nod…

I’m no fair-weather glory supporter either, I’ve been sporting the AB strip since the 1995 RWC final and my avid loyalty even lasted the John Hart error (I mean era).

I support the Blacks for 3 reasons:

1.) They play rockstar rugby! To me their natural ability coupled with their thinking game makes them the most attractive brand on offer to a supporter. They’re hard, they're physical, they're fast but they’re also CREATIVE. To me its poetry watching big forwards do the donkey work and then throw flashy offloads in contact. But I really can't contain my enjoyment of viewing the spectacle of the likes of Danny Carter, Carlos Spencer and the Christian Cullen carving defenses out wide.

2.) The second reason is because having patriotism toward the soil you were born on is a big load of BS. All those hypocritical one-eyed people out there who call me a turncoat must ask themselves which provincial side they support. I’m willing to bet that almost 80% will support a side that doesn’t represent the region they were born in. Its arbitrary to suggest that cause you were born somewhere you must support that team or that ideology. If a catholic kid is born in the heart of an Islamic country in an Islamic community - must he then choose one of those two religions. I say fuck it, be a rockstar and support or follow what you want.

3.) The final reason is that the Springboks play such crap rugby! Now I dont want to blame the Afrikaner nation for the SA philosophy to pick the biggest 8 men you can, a half back that can pass, and a first-five eight that can kick the gilbert off a ball but lets be honest - its pretty much their fault. How boring is it watching a game plan centred on 8 gargantuan men, a right boot and a solid defence?

Since I was old enough to recognise it I have despised the way SA has played the game. Big lumbering oafs with no brain or finesse trying to punch it up for 80 minutes and kicking anything goalable. BORING, yes, effective on occasion but oh so boring.

However I really thought the introduction of progressive Jake White coaching mind and his new crop of players would change all this. A guy like Jean De Villiers (who if he wasn’t so big, fast and Maties looking would definitely be considered a maori just by the way he plays) is the epitome of a rugby player. The guy has the x-factor, he oozes class and creativity. He broke the mould SA rugby gave itself, and he just needed to be given the 12 jersey to do it. He did to the ‘green and gold’ what Madiba did to this country: wrenched it from its ignorant past and took it into the enlightened future.

This weekend: SA took a big leap backward. Don’t blame the ref for carding Paulse, and don’t even whine about the ruck not forming over Matt Rogers’ line break. The end result is White don’t have a wing in his squad and has moved Jean the Saviour back there, with De Wet Barry taking the inside centre birth!!! We have had enough of your love babe!!!

De Wet Barry: Old School

I’m sorry, it’s over before it’s begun. I don’t care if it pisses with rain in Dunedin and SA kick out a victory, the mere fact that the guy who has led us out of the darkness was relegated

to the wing so easily in favour of the old style sickens me…