Economic Models explained with Cows
SOCIALISM
You give one to your neighbour.
The State takes both and gives you milk from a dairy 160 miles away
The State takes both and sells you milk if you are a party member.
If you are not, the state has your windows broken.
You must weigh both and fill in twenty forms.
The state then collects the milk and throws it away...
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire consultants to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder
who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, because you want
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon
image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
Unemployment in Britain is high but no-one will milk cows.
You would like to get them milked but must wait for the
risk assessment report to be translated into Polish.
Your nearest supermarket sells milk from Belgium.
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the s**t out of you
You now have no cows, but you do have Democracy....
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
Both have disappeared through the broken gate
during the debate as to which should be milked first…
The white cow or the black cow.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Business seems pretty good.
You go to the beach to celebrate with a few beers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have no cows but you do have two sheep.
The one on the left looks very attractive
