Exam docking..?

If you are currently or have just finished (focker) writing exams I have little doubt in my mind you have experienced one of these 3 people. They appear every exam time and are more of a drain on varsity life than Hiv, poverty, low education availibility and corrupt deputy presidents are on emerging 3rd world countries.

The Stresser:
Usually female, but male versions are the worst, Stressers are those hyperactive loud mouthed whiners that bob around exam venues or accost you in the library repeating the words: "ohmygod, I havent learnt I am so stressed, like really really, like stressed..."

Are you joking? Do I look like a liquid form of the textbook that you can just imbibe and be ready for the exam? Do I look like the cool machine in the matrix that you can just plug into the socket in your neck and upload all relevant information? Do I look like a give a fuack? Maybe if you learnt you wouldn't be 'so stressed'? Maybe if you spent the same amount fo time learning as you do pointing out the fact that you are stressed you would actually be prepared and not standing here encouraging me to paper-cut your neck off with you study notes?

The 'EQ examers':
Again usually female, but maybe it's just cause girls don't stop coming up to me! Hi demigod, How have your exams been? When do you write again? How to you feel for your next exam? When do you finish?

Okay. Quit with the barrage of questions. I am guessing you are the same 'how was your holiday people' that appear after every holiday. You don't have to talk to me. Really you don't! Rather just sit there and stare like the other girls, because a.) I'd rather be learning than talking to you and b.) the last thing I want to talk about is exams with you. Taking your clothes off, maybe; exams, definitely not!

The blubber:
Partly because you look like you were raised solely on a diet of whale fat, and partly because you are sitting face down with your chubby forehead on desk exam desk crying! Good plan though, I reckon they put all the scripts with tear marks at the top part of the bell curve.