Here at rockstar journals we make preparations for the regular occurrence of human stupidity and offer various platforms from which to highlight, examine and then ridicule such occurrences.
The ‘Hate Mail’ section and the newly launched ‘docking’ section tender an impressive platform from which we can snapshot the antithesis of rockstar behaviour, read in awe how some guys are like that and hopefully instil a growing trend in the readership to sway from making comments, wearing outfits, and performing certain acts that would remove any of the doubt of whether you are a world class douchebag.
The flipside of this stick approach is the carrot approach of the ‘rockstar of the moment award’ and viola you are now getting an idea from what is expected of you to prevent you living out the rest of your life looking like more of an idiot than Luke Watson at flyhalf. No vision, no options, no skill and no success, just one stupid looking “I’ve-got-a-barfridge-under-each-arm” swagger. So read and learn.I have frequently stumbled upon a series of incidents; which are so severe in abhorrent nature that neither the ‘hate mail’ nor ‘docking’ options I have before me do justice in successfully attacking them. So I have gone for the big gun! Hence, we’re writing an article.
I have summed up the situation and through cogent reasoning have unmasked what I purport is the reason behind this specific behaviour. The most unscrupulous vice a man can have is being so pathetically unable to hold his own in any arena that he accepts failure from the outset. These guys walk out to the middle of life’s batting crease expecting to get trapped LBW first ball.
---------------------------Should have stayed in the changeroom...
But here is the kicker. These guys know they are going to fail to such a degree that they go out to the crease without their bat, so when they do get the umpire’s index finger they have something to blame.
If I am talking past you, then let me translate this away from the cricket metaphor. Take the scenario of a guy hitting on a chick who is straw-pedoing away her night at the bar at Tiger. Now make the addition of the element that the guy knows this particular girl has a boyfriend. I assert that this guy has the knowledge that he is more out of his depth than a fat girl at a swimwear shoot and so what does he do? He finds a reason to fail before he starts!
It makes sense does it not? If one of the aforementioned brutal fruit glugging girl’s boyfriendless friends were to be approached by our subject he would undoubtedly fail worse than ‘Do Not Touch’ signs written in Braille. However, when this happens he will be shown to be useless. So what he does is he hits on the one with the boyfriend? This way, getting bat gives him the excuse:
‘she was so into me, if she didn’t have a boyfriend I would definitely tap that shit’
Funny how this guys idiocy is pronounced by his use of ‘tap that shit’ when referring to coming right, just when you thought the guy couldn’t get any worse! Before you know it he will be wearing a sleeveless shirt to campus and calling his equally dim-witted friends dawgs…
Truth be told this argument despite being coherent and bereft of nonsense it is also bereft of fact and is more accepted for its plausibility than it’s factual content. Nevertheless its plausibility is supported by the fact that if such actions continue he will find himself lying in the local medi-clinic trying to explain to the doctor, how the jagerbomb he was nursing hit the linked chain around his neck with such force it ignited, engulfing his face and charring him beyond recognition, by way of a white story board and ink markers…
The way I see it is since no man wants to eat his food through a feeder tube for 8months he must be overwhelmingly scared of something else, and that something else must be terrible. Hence, he prefers not finding out that he is a total and utter loser. Sorry for you but when the nurses hear how you wind up with a hotel stay courteous discovery health they will be thinking it anyway…
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