Some people...!

Having said before that it takes a lot to get me really peeved, some people find the ability to take that lot.

While minding my own business on campus, I walk past these girls and one (whose face might have crossed my vision at some point, or maybe she just looks like my favourite pornstar) stops me mid-stride and throws out the usual, "What is the best birthday present to get a good guy friend who is your ex-boyfriend?" I nonchalantly suggest that a subscription to Mens Health may be a good idea (although why you're buying an ex a bday present is beyond me in the first place)...

She looked over at her friends who were casually milling around in awe of my guns, or of my insightful answer, and proclaimed in a shrill, annoying, sarcastic, undermining, condescending and just all-round painful tone: "Oh, so I should just buy him porn...!"

A good friend once told me he very rarely believes anything that he didn't read from Men's Health. Any guy or girl who has read this hallowed publication will know that it is straight out of the 'anything with pages' top draw. In fact a pristine collection should be shelved next to works like the Magna Carta, the 7 Dead Sea Scrolls or a autographed first print of the Little Red hen (it's a classic).

Porn - useful, but not classy

Sure, some of MH's content can be repetitive but to have the audacity to make a remark like that about it nearly made me kick her in the tits. Luckily for her MH strictly prohibits violence against women. However that doesn't prevent me from wishing she finds her beloved ex-boyfriend screwing her best friend at his birthday party. No wonder he broke up with the filthy crackwhore.