Our International Man of Mystery spent the summer in South Africa leaving a brethren of deceit and broken hearts back in London. He was out trying to attain a highly (unlikely) skilled visa and is now back in the Big Smoke, but has this Valentines story to relay.
Back in London he left one encounter a little open ended and a fair amount of ´history´ existed between him and one girl, lets call her Suzie. His good friend and practical joker the Rickster decided to use our Man´s valentine absence as an opportunity to take a little it of the piss. So he took it upon himself, without even a shred of agreed upon agency, to deliver flowers to Suzie on behalf of our man. The Rickster arrived at her house with a beautiful bunch of Pakistan´s finest red roses.
The Rickster!
Now young Rickster, also has a history of binge drinking and taking down ugly London girls and just a week prior had kissed something he found at the bottom of a beer keg. Over that week this thing! had cyber stalked the Rickster obtaining his cellphone number, email address, facebook profile and residential address and was in hot pursuit. Rickster had been nothin short of evasive in 7 days, cringing at the memory of her skin tight Fulham supporters tights and sweaty cleavage.
Back to present beaming Rickster knocked on Suzie´s door lavishing in the future problems he was to cause our Man of mystery, and one can only imagine his surprise when what opened the door on his 3rd knock was not one Suzie, but rather her temporary flatmate, Rickster´s obese Fulham screaming wench.
Needless to say the Fulham Floozie anticipated the flowers were for her and rejoiced for a full 5 minutes attacking Ricksters muscly pecs until he could unpin himself from her vice-like love clench and explain that he was merely the messenger. Lovely stuff...
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