Are you THAT guy?



If you are reading this site, there is a good chance you aren´t! Although if you are simultaneously surfing porn pics of Geanie D then you aren´t.

Harsh not fair call on the livestrong band though...

Classics never die...

Can anyone direct me as to where I can catch video reels of past Varsity Cup games? You might think I am looking for the Shimlas tool last year that did a judo roll followed by a short sharp karate chop against UCT in George, but thankfully I have him on PVR already. No what I am looking for is this years BEST tryscoring celebration so far..!

Fall Out Boy: Dance, Dance...

Casey Laulala has been leading a competitive pack this season with some horrific chicken dances and waddlewiggles but the inside centre from TUT produced an absolute cracker when he scored in their thumping loss to UCT not too long ago.

Standing tall behind groove bar!

Our boy ran off his live-wire scrumhalfs sniping break to collect a neat pass and his ostrich style running earned him the final 40m home free to score under the polls. But then our man did the unspeakable. Back in the day of Danie Gerber and Divan Serfontein an Afrikaans gentlemen showing emotion on the rugby field was akin to sleeping with your sister in the back of the ox-wagon, or at least insofar as you got caught. It seems things have changed.

Our Man Tjaart (name NOT changed to protect identity.

The punishment for on field flapdoodle was you had to drink a bottle of spiced gold in the after match blacktie function. In stark protest to this our man from Tshwane Tech (a 4th year repeat 1st year woodturning scholar) broke tradition and celebrated his try against UCT by standing behind the polls on one leg, other leg raised out at 90 degrees, knee bent!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

No irony is lost here, but the game was.

Love Actually...

Our International Man of Mystery spent the summer in South Africa leaving a brethren of deceit and broken hearts back in London. He was out trying to attain a highly (unlikely) skilled visa and is now back in the Big Smoke, but has this Valentines story to relay.

Back in London he left one encounter a little open ended and a fair amount of ´history´ existed between him and one girl, lets call her Suzie. His good friend and practical joker the Rickster decided to use our Man´s valentine absence as an opportunity to take a little it of the piss. So he took it upon himself, without even a shred of agreed upon agency, to deliver flowers to Suzie on behalf of our man. The Rickster arrived at her house with a beautiful bunch of Pakistan´s finest red roses.

The Rickster!

Now young Rickster, also has a history of binge drinking and taking down ugly London girls and just a week prior had kissed something he found at the bottom of a beer keg. Over that week this thing! had cyber stalked the Rickster obtaining his cellphone number, email address, facebook profile and residential address and was in hot pursuit. Rickster had been nothin short of evasive in 7 days, cringing at the memory of her skin tight Fulham supporters tights and sweaty cleavage.

Back to present beaming Rickster knocked on Suzie´s door lavishing in the future problems he was to cause our Man of mystery, and one can only imagine his surprise when what opened the door on his 3rd knock was not one Suzie, but rather her temporary flatmate, Rickster´s obese Fulham screaming wench.

Needless to say the Fulham Floozie anticipated the flowers were for her and rejoiced for a full 5 minutes attacking Ricksters muscly pecs until he could unpin himself from her vice-like love clench and explain that he was merely the messenger. Lovely stuff...

Monday girl...


Slick.

A fair fight..?

The most important thing about any match up is that the competitors are fairly matched. If there is an underdog challenger he needs to have the mettle to fight it out with the incumbent champ. Some fights just aren´t fair whereas others are brilliant.

Buzz Aldrine v Buzz Lightyear. Fair!
Komodo dragon v Velociraptor. Fair!
Freddy Mercury v Mika. Fair.
Pepsi v Coke. Fair.
Sharks v Stormers. Unfair.
Bishop Mvume Dandala v Jacob Zuma. Unfair!

Pointing fingers?

The challenging political party named the honourable Bishop Mvume Dandala as their candidate to run against the overwhelmingly stronger ANC, who still has JZ as their party candidate.

The best Bernie Mac impression in town!

One is a man of the cloth, the other the man of the loin cloth and shower and fraud charges and political meddling and machine gun. The mind boggles...

The Gym Files...

After pointing out the hair styling antics of certain gym patrons recently we have been flooded with anecdotes from various readers pertaining to similar gym disbelief stories.

Heart rate monitor in a sports bra. Your pulse going yet?

Andrew interestingly drew our attention to one elderly gentlemen at Claremont Virgin Active who insists on showering with his heart rate monitor on! Andrew quips - is he showering at 80% of his max?

Monday Girl.



Cleaning it.

Public Indecency...

The mens change room at the Wembly Virgin Active has a set of public morals unique only into itself and maybe a 4 A.D roman mens only plunge pool and steam bath. The place for a good looking guy is about as safe a muslim lady unraveling her burka in front of in laws.

However, despite the admittedly low threshold of social acceptability in the venue it still has a modicum of decorum, and last night I witnessed it being broken.

Blowdryers are for chicks...

Apparently the current universal trend in anti-curled hair, and a preference for the straight back length has prompted men world wide to add either a GHD or a hairdryer to their grooming arsenal. I shit you not. Now as suitable for comment as this is, we must remember what you do in the privacy of your bedroom remains your prerogative. Breach your actions into the real world and you put yourself up for attack.

As I was attempting a quick exit to escape the towel snapping of the little spandex clad princess with a beard that lurks by the scale I noticed this dude sporting boardshorts and a vest with his head reversed and wedged under the wall mounted hand dryer attempting to airheat iron the wetness in his mullet.

My fuckin´ word, I have seen some weird things in gym but a man double bent over with his head virtually in the urinal trying to blowdry the back of his head is not one of them. Amazing...

A little more than you bargained for...

Forking out an amount of money for a product, item or experience and then finding out there are ancillary costs is a bit of a hack, or if you get less than what you paid for. However, the converse is one of the slickest things around...

I´ll do one...

My weekend had a bit of both. Getting scouted for the Cape Town 10s was meant to allow me to relive the glory days of try scoring celebrations and massive hits, but instead my efforts only yielded ridiculously hot playing time at a competitive level I was hoping to avoid.

Thankfully Sunday saw my poor luck rewarded as a little visit to Kirstenbosch for Arno Carstens developed into something special.

Arno threw a serious vibe and a few of his Another Universe album hits around like JZ throws around attempts to derail the justice system, and then Arno, again like JZ, said goodbye and walked off...

However...

On walks some long haired roadie looking guy who saunters around on stage, throws a little wave and plugs in his guitar. After about a minute of strumming whilst the crowd packed up its cheese and wine, back on walks Arno.

He points to the haired dude, and says, I would like you to all meet Theo Crous.... and WE ARE THE SPRINGBOK NUDE GIRLS.


Slick. They jammed 30 minutes of Nude Girls hits. Very rad...

Monday Girl.



. . .

Monday. G. I. R. L.


Peace and love.