Pieter and Jake...

Pieter and Jake met at Nino´s in Dean street this morning to catch up on a bit of yarn. (News Cafe in JHB was closed) Jake was sitting back sipping his skinny flat white when Pieter walked in. Pieter was carrying the Sunday paper and had a smug smile forcing it´s way out of from behind his harley davidson facial broom.


Pieter slapped the paper down on the table with the sports page facing Jake and said, ´Meneer, I am looking forward to 2009, I wish it was a World Cup year´.

Jake glanced up the and down the back page. He slid two envelopes over the table and winked at Pieter. Before Pieter could mouth anything from behind his nickleback toplip hairstyle Jake said:

´Sir, when you come last in the tri-nations this year, open the first envelope, it will keep you your job. Then when you lose all 4 tests on the end of year tour, open the second letter.´ Jake dropped a euro note next to his empty cup, grabbed his vespa helmet and left in a whirlwind of clapping patrons.


Sure enough, when Isma-eel Dollie missed 30 tackles, 4 shots at goal and 39 line clearances, in the Springboks embarrassing defeat to Australia at Loftus, SARU called Pieter in for a chat. Pieter opened the first letter. It read:

´You´ve fucked up. Blame it all on me and they´ll give you another chance. Love, Jake.´

Four month later James Hook kicked his 7th consecutive conversion to take the scoreline to 52-0 against the Springboks. The flight back for the Boks after losing to England, Scotland, Italy and Wales wasn´t pleasant! Earl Rose missed 756 tackles in 20minutes all tour. SARU smsed Pieter whilst he was waiting for the plane back at Heathrow letting him know they would need to meet in JHB on his return.

Sorry coach, but it was such a good dummy...

On the plane he opened the second letter:

´Dear Pieter, write two letter. Love Jake.´