I am contemplating a career in event organisation. It doesn't sound too tricky and if you're good at it, and it's not rocket science, you can make a decent turnover. There is obviously a long history of failed events that were just plain pathetic (think all you can drink keg party at Oudekraal including free wors roll and party bus) but I reckon I have a future....
The plan. Large low cost venue that can fit as many overpriced ticket bearers in as possible. Some form of entertainment, famous or otherwise. A "no booze through venue gates" policy, with overpriced alcohol available inside for your captive market. Security, to enforce said policy. And a catchy name...
One problem. I think I have been beaten to it and by someone far bigger than me and far more able to incur heavy financial losses..! I talk of Coke Cola Ltd and 5fm productions. They have brought us the sequel to last years COLAB extravanganza...!
I heard COLAB was pretty sweet. A normal entrance fee of 350ZAR, a couple of decent bands, and queues longer than Argentinian national anthem for the beverage stands. Apparently the queue for the ladies was so long they were handing out re-entrance tickets for those who wished to join the back of the queue which was out the gate.
However 2007 is a bounce back World Cup year so they powers behind our live entertainment sector have squashed the ante with a rejuvenated plan for a 12 hours Cock fest, I mean Columbian Coke fest, I mean...MY COKE FEST 2007..!!!!
On the band bill are the world famous one hit wonders Hoobastank and Evanescence. HBS had that number 1 chart rocket that had Brownsugar salivating the song title every saturday on her world chart show for at least 2 weeks (I have successfully blocked the song name from my long term memory to keep out the reverberating tune so refuse to delve into my recall to name it here but look it up, it's the only song they ever made) and Evanscence had that even more impressive 3 immortal week stint at the top of a chart albeit it was the "Old Mutual Cycle for Humankind and All Things Poor Chart" which was the headline chart for the Old Mutual Cycle for Humankind and All Things Poor that our editor, Rockstar, so ably took part in...Okay B team aside, the COKE FEST, (I love saying it quickly) also inculdes the no sarcasm here 3 Doors Down and is headlined by Guns n' Roses. I am actually a 3DD fan but I am also a 36DD fan so I suppose thats irrelevant but having GnR is pretty wild. I can't really remember any of their musice but they are on enough vintage tshirts to assure them a decent modicum of fame and respect. (the bearded non-linguist at MacHarry's sports one and he started the crocs phase so back the fuck down any detractors)
A fifth band is still to be confirmed...
Anyway was real gripe is how the fuck can you name your event something so close to ridicule and ambiguity that the public are going to come up with it's own nom de plume to hide their embarrasment at admitting they spent their weekend and 4 hard earned buffaloes at a Cock fest, I mean Coke fest... It's like your kid walking late into class and the teacher enquiring, "Are you Gaylord?". "No ma'am, I'm greg...!"
In our language admitting to a Coke fest visit means you either spent saturday night at TinRoof at 3am or Opium's ladies toilets at 3am. Either way, not something you want to shout out across a room.
I will eat the paper this is written on tomorrow if they announce that the 4th band is Snow Patrol but then again I don't believe november rumours from 3ft high dwarves that also say they DJ and have a Z card...
