I Just Want To Feel...

How cool is the internet? Whenever something new and wicked comes around people always use that killer cliché “it’s the coolest thing since sliced bread”... What a crock of shit. How can glorified carbohydrates shaped in thin longitudinal segments be considered the bench mark of civilization. Surely sedgeways, blogspots, ipods or mini pizzas out strip Albany’s finest in the last dash for the title…

Okay even if they don’t, the internet definitely does. I know there are some extreme technocratic psycho conspiracy theorists out there that think it is a tool the US government uses to control civilization by perpetuating 3rd world debt, stealing credit card details and distributing porn to the rest of the world so as to retard the rest of the world’s ability to gain power and develop into a contender when it comes to the World Cup of Big Dog nations quadrennial, but such people are twats.


But how cool is this net thing anyway? Sure you can buy anything from asian children to sliced bread on it but for fuck sakes you can’t buy Robbie Williams tickets. Fair, maybe it is just SA’s lack of a decent website in Computicket.com (our powers have been retarded by the US and their sneaky schemes) that couldn’t cope with the inundation of screaming female fans that logged on at 9am this morning or this net thing is overrated.

I just wanted to feel the that amazing flash mobbing sensations of 10000 like minded screaming school girl fans and most of Cape Town’s ‘Seapoint’ residency pushing and shoving me to and fro whilst that pommie ex-boyband Rockstar serenades some knebworth-esque fat bitch with one of his wicked tracks…

Oh well…