Arrgh you funny?

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.'
'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'
Bartender, 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'
Pirate, 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'
Bartender says, 'Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'



Pirate says, 'I was in another fight. When I boarded the other ship my hand was cut off in a sword fight.
I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.' Bartender says, 'What about that eye patch?' Pirate says, 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over.. I looked up and one of them shit right in my eye.'
'You're kidding,' said the bartender, 'you lost an eye just from bird shit.'?
Pirate says, 'It was my first day with the hook.'