Don't cry for me Argentina...


I might be a super genius or the rugby people at the IRB and SANZAR are just retarded. I have't ruled out the possibility that these two aren't necessarily mutual exclusive. There was media talk this week about offers to the Pumas to join the Tri-Nations triplet in the most respected rugby competition in the world.

It is an interesting idea. Argentina had an excellent outting to France last year, upsetting the hosts (twice) and the apple cart to come 3rd. They currently stand here in the IRB rankings. (1) South Africa (2) All Blacks (3) Pumas (4) Australia. Including them in the Tri-Nations makes great rugby sense.
From a rugby point of view, Argetina has no domestic competition to speak of, actually it is still amateur, and hence all their top players are based in European club sides, mainly in France and Italy but actually everywhere. I think like 2 or 3 of their RWC07 squad wasn't an overseas based player.

The country is dominated by soccer and rugby is largely only played at upper-class clubs and private schools. However, the popularity of the game is soaring and they even delayed the starting time of a Boca Junior football match so it wouldn't clash with the Pumas v France game of the RWC.

I'm big in South America..?

However, because a large majority of their players are foreign based they fit into the Northern Hemisphere season. This is a major problem as it clashed with the Souther Hemisphere season. If their small base of professional players are tied up in club contracts and not really for international duty their really isn't any point in allowing them to enter an international competition. The second major problem is that they are the other side of the friggan world.

I have flown from Cape Town to Buenos Aires. We went to play rugby. After circumnavigating the world in the fusilage of a Boeing 747 you are about as eager to play rugby as you are to eat your prop if you crashed in the Andes. Not very.

Funnily enough this latter drawback is the only problem with the Tri-Nations format. You play each other side twice (or 3 times as in 2006) and they juggle the venues. The thing is the home side is at a MASSIVE advantage. The team that wins the competition is the one that can win away from home. It's the easy. That's why in the last 10 years of the 3N the All Blacks managed to do well because each year they manage to win away from home.

The Springboks haven't won away from Fortress SA since they toured Nambia in a 3 match tour in 1965 and since Fortress SA became leaky they've allowed other sides to take the competition. I'm being flippant but you can't deny the massive advantage playing at home is.

Unlike the Cape Times I am not just bitching about the systems administed by rugby administrators world wide and blaming a 3rd Force but instead will offer, what I believe, a viable alternative.

Admittedly the exodus of pro players from Argentina to Europe is a problem but money solves everything, ask Toulon, I mean Blue Bulls Old Boys Club. Bring those players back to Argentina. Fund a big provincial or club tournament there. The player salaries don't have to be huge. The 30 plus superstar gets brought back but not at their usual European salary, just pay off their contracts, and then pay them and the local players at a reaosnable scale. It's details but since minimum wage is like 24 cans of Quilmes, a shot of tequila and a kilogram of lama a month it can't be alot.

Can I please get a double whopper bacon cheese, vanilla shake, no fries and two locks to get me out of the B league?

Then enter them into the 4Nations. Contract the international players a shit load to make them returning to their homeland worth their while, although I am sure Quilmes, tequila and lama would do it. Now here is the thing. Every year the competition gets hosted by one of the countries only. Think mini-World Cup.

For example. 2009 fly all 3 sides to Argentina, then Aussie hosts 2010, SA 2011 and New Zealand 2012. Bingo. Since you have four side no side has to sit out.



Weekend 1: Argentina v South Africa; All Blacks v Australia.
Weekend 2: Argentina v All Blacks; South Africa v Australia.
Weekend 3: Argentina v Australia; All Blacks v South Africa.

League structure. Wham bam thank you ma'am. So every four years, you are a home nation and at great advantage, but the playing fields are level for the other 3. Argentina gets exposed to world class rugby and hopefully grows the exposure of the game to their masses.

If that wouldn't make Rupert Murdoch loads of cash I don't know what will. I doubt he will splurge it on Quilmes, Tequila and lama steaks though.

Lamas: High in protein, great with white or red wine and doesn't taste anything like chicken.

The only obvious drawback is at which time you will play the games. I know when it is 17h00 on a satuday in sunny cape town it is 00h00 in Perth, 02h00 in Sydney and 04h00 in Auckland. It's also 13h00 in Buenos Aires. It can't be that hard. I used to wake up at 04h30 at school to watch Christian Cullen. I would wake up at that time again to watch any one of these match ups.
I don't know Bernard Lapasett personally but he is the Chairman of the IRB (just googled it now) and if you know him please send him this, and me royalties...