Open letter to Substitute lecturer for CRJ4001W

Dear Madam Lecturer,

It is with great trepidation that I tackle this letter, but I soldier on as I think the purpose behind it is a pertinent one which requires urgent attention. You have acted as a worthy substitute lecturer for the better part of a semester this year and I must laud the manner in which you have confronted the difficult task and the temerity you have shown in persevering thus far.

I believe it not necessary to engage with how arduous the task is of lecturing a class of final year law students for a person of even the highest qualification but do deem it worthwhile to engage with your approach to the task.

We are blessed in our faculty in that the large majority of our resident lecturers are academic leaders in their chosen field but we are conversely also cursed with the resultant propensity of these aforementioned academic authorities to be drawn from our hallowed lecture halls to complete stints away from the faculty such as to be acting judicial officials, key research anchors on commissions of enquiry with significant legal importance and to take lengthy personal sabbaticals.

This logistical conundrum has obviated the need for dedicated, intelligent people, like you, to take over the reigns to the microphone and the bridle of the slide projector to lead the army that is our class toward the compulsory 2 grade points we need to graduate.

Your actions so far in stepping into the shoes of our unavailable lecturer have been invaluable. You have not simply just regurgitated the very precise and detailed course material our AWOL lecturer left you to the class but instead delivered it in clear and audible English language without compromising the cogent structure she laid it out in for you. I can attest that failing to do these things is usually the default position for people in your position. However, despite your commendable approach thus far, I do wish to share a few pointers.

Lecturing, like public speaking, requires the very hallmark of addressing a crowd; a confident and clear eloquences. However, lecturing extends beyond mere public speaking as it also requires the lecturer to interrelate with the multitude of expectant learners. This is by no means a simple task, and one you by no means have mastered.

I am sure if you cast your experienced mind back to the days before you became a successful trial advocate to when you were a mere law student yourself you will vividly remember the ‘type’ of student who attempts to complete an LLB. They are truly unique.

Unashamedly they will place themselves at the top of the academic pile. They will compare their astute ‘academicness’ with Actuarial Scientists, their ability for open debate and forum with doctoral politics students and their ‘hands on’ practical ability with community serving medical surgeons.

Alas, they are mistaken, as their academic ability transcends no further than a few undergraduate English assignments, their debating ability no further than domestic quibbles in the chicken burger queue and their pragmatism no further than their futile efforts for a fine reduction in the traffic department.

Unfortunately, their insufficiencies in these regards are far less glaring to themselves as it is to the rest of our university’s community. We should appreciate a lecturer who fields questions from confused students but allowing a law student to speak can be lecture suicide.

I candidly now refer to our double lecture last Friday. I urge you to beware of the student who, when permitted to speak, begins his 3 minute soliloquy with ‘I have two points, the first of which is a comment, whilst the second is a comment’. Now let’s remain mindful that a lecture is under no circumstance an opinion soapbox for which a student can air their mental conjecture on a whim. For that we have Facebook and tutorials. Secondly, I urge us to beware of people that introduce their questions two-fold: by raising their hand and then by beginning with ‘my question is’. They haven’t even got to the salient purpose of their question and they are already repeating themselves, from this it is blatantly apparent that they have no question and are rather using your affable demeanor in persisting to field their views as a platform from which they can tautologically voice their opinions before a crowd.

I implore you to sift through the sea of hands every lecture point of yours receives with a fastidious caution as there exists an overwhelming chance that that arm is vertical not for their own benefit to be taught a point but rather for their own benefit in hearing the sound of their own semi-retarded brain.

The more engaging you are with them the more they are encouraged to derail our lecture, please don’t allow them to continue unhindered.

Kinds Regards,

GH

Pool Party?


It is more than 1,000 yards long, covers 20 acres, had a 115ft deep end and holds 66 million gallons of water.

Yesterday the Guinness Book of Records named the vast pool beside the sea in Chile as the biggest in the world.

But if you fancy splashing out on one of your own - and you have the space to accommodate it - then beware: This one took five years to build, cost nearly 1billion and the annual maintenance bill will be 2million.

The man-made saltwater lagoon has been attracting huge crowds to the San Alfonso del Mar resort at Algarrobo, on Chile 's southern coast, since it opened recently.


Its turquoise waters are so crystal clear that you can see the bottom even in the deep end.

It dwarfs the world's second biggest pool, the Orthlieb - nicknamed the Big Splash - in Morocco , which is a mere 150 yards long and 100 yards wide. An Olympicsize pool measures some 50 yards by 25 yards.

Chile's monster pool uses a computer- controlled suction and filtration system to keep fresh seawater in permanent circulation, drawing it in from the ocean at one end and pumping it out at the other.

The sun warms the water to 26c, nine degrees warmer than the adjoining sea.

Chilean biochemist Fernando Fischmann, whose Crystal Lagoons Corporation designed the pool, said advanced engineering meant his company could build "an impressive artificial paradise" even in inhospitable areas.

Chilly?

Monday again...


I know we have had her before, many times, but it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

Rambo II

Susan "Rambo" Shabangu is at it again. After dispensing with the need to fire warning shots when shooting at criminals, she's now given the go-ahead to gun them down on the street. Which, when you think about it is pretty sweet. It certainly gives me an excuse to pull out the John Wayne costume I wore last Halloween and strap on my .45. Unfortunately, it's this kind of unclear thinking that slows down progress in South Africa. Violence only begets more violence. Hence Rambo II - V.


Now, if I can just find me some criminals.

The Flying...


Thankfully our rockstar web (revel in my witty play on words) creeps further around the surface of the globe than most would expect. We're so clever, handsome and inciteful (sic - meant insightful) that you're actually a moron to think our influence doesn't extend so.

Well it does, and as a result our sharp rockstar prodigies in far away countries are poised, shoulder blades against the bar surveying society like they own it. Which, if they are employing all the skills they've been taught and talents they've been given they do own it!

Own it sweetheart, own it own it...

So you wondering what this has to do with caravans. Very simply our foreign rockstar scout spotted this in Austin, Texas (where he bangs the College quarterback's little sister) and thought he'd send it in so we could share it.



Truly amazing...

Classic!

In Defense of Elitism

As if it requires defending …

Occasionally we get emails, or comments from people who happen to stumble across The Journals. They run along the lines of - you're too arrogant, you're misogynistic, you think you're too cool. It's very simple, if you think that, then is the wrong place for you. I found this floating around the interweb and thought it was pretty appropriate, so I adapted it. Next time someone asks you why you read this site, just refer them here.

"Rockstar Journals is exclusive. We exclude. It is not a question of elitism vs. egalitarianism because there can be no question; the black belt is elite, the white belt is not. The black belt is earned through long, difficult work, rigorous education, commitment, and persistence. Not everyone gets a black belt. It's not ultimate frisbee. We invite rockstars here because they foster the environment we prefer. Rockstars surround themselves with others of a similar or higher caliber – both mental and physical – and improve by doing so. "

"The parallel motive has to do with choosing who we want to spend our limited time with: why would we open our arms to any and everyone? "

Monday Girl...


tasty...

Oh Lord, I Apologize ...

Monday Girl...

lashed..!

“Kill those Bastards”

Not as you might think, a line from the 6th installation of the Rambo series, creatively entitled Rambo. God that’s confusing - wasn’t the first one called Rambo? How can anyone tell the difference? Especially since Sly Stallone had himself cryogenically frozen and pumped with polar bear growth hormone for the last 20 odd years. Fact.

Anyway, Rambo didn’t say it. Susan Shabangu did. Of course, I don’t need to tell you that she’s our Deputy Safety and Security Minister. Though not. Despite the striking physical similarity to John Rambo, and her complete and utter disregard for the law, as well as her belief we should just go out and kill criminals, she’s nothing like the kind-hearted, bunny-hugging, steroid-taking Rocky Balboa.


For one, she hasn’t written, directed and starred in an Oscar winning movie. For another, she told people to ignore the Constitution (it’s kind of a big deal in South Africa) and that some human lives are worth more than others. Rambo knew that all lives were worth the same. Even if he thought they weren’t worth anything.

Rambo, firing a clear warning shot

"I want no warning shots. You have one shot and it must be a kill shot. If you miss, the criminals will go for the kill. They don't miss. We can't take this chance.” Seriously? Even Rambo took warning shots.

UPDATE: Well done Susan. Who ever said our government never get's anything done. It appears a forward thinking Cape Town man, responding to a smash-and-grab attempt, managed to chase the violent criminal down the road, whereby said criminal dropped stolen goods. Of course, not needing to fire a warning shot, he just shot the would be mugger in the chest. Oh, and the violent offender was a 12 year old kid. Great work Susan. Good lucking explaining this one to John Rambo.

To Hell and Back...

You didn't have to be too perceptive to notice that the busy tourist hub of Cape Town has been overrun by a sea of black leather flak jackets, a plethora of metal body piercings and enough epithelial ink art to breed an army of Michael Schoefield's.


The occasion? The Annual International Hell's Angels Convention.

I kid you not, if you have spent anytime in the last 14 days anywhere in town, be it long street, the camps bay strips or the waterfront, you will have stumbled upon at least 35 of these metal and leather glad bike vikings.

With places like Wales, England, Sweden etc embalzoned on their uniform one can't help but realise we have an eclectic fusion of international hell's angels spending time in our little city.





Apparently - and I emphasise this as I heard it and can't corroborate it - they are here for a international symposium of sorts. You fucking kidding? That is flippin' hilarious...

Obviously this would beg the question, so where the fuck are their harleys? Did they ride to a Spanish port and then kingsley holgate is through Africa?


The answer, and again apparently, is that they don't have bikes. Okay, so you're a club founded on motorcycles and you host international rally's in places you can't take you bikes? Logic?

Explanation, apparently (not sure why I keep admitting the hearsay nature of everything since most of what we post is usually hearsay), they shipped their bikes here in a container but the cargo ship transporting them got detained at some Western African port. Now that's fucking hilarious...


Despite the fact that both the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Criminal Intelligence Service Canada classify the Angels as one of the "big four" outlaw motorcycle gangs, contending that members carry out widespread violence, drug dealing, trafficking in stolen goods, and extortion and you would usually associate motorcylce gangs as rampant aggressive oafs they have prove quite the contrary.


They are very polite, very well-mannered, and shown no incidents of malice AND they are very generous when it comes to tipping. And as you can see from them dominating the camps bay strip they love a good mojito, frozen strawberry daiquiri and the odd frozen Margarita. Who would have guessed..?

Monday Angel...

lovely...

It depends what your definition of 'is' is?

'May I know your name?..'
'Batman...'

'May I know your name?'
'My name is Bat-man...'

'Trying to be funny?!. What is your surname?..'
'Supar-man...'

'I want to speak with your manager...'

Bring it home...

Some things you just can't overemphasise or exaggerate on. Even people like myself - who am I kidding no one is like myself but for arguments sake lets keep it - skilled in the art of hyperbole can't manage to make Monday into something bigger than it really is...

The Final of Varsity Cup...

The jink, the swerve, Over!

We have intermittently commented on the VC and UCT's success at shoving a big strong hand off into the face of everything that is Afrikaans but Monday looks to be the coup de grace in the effort.

UCT dominated the entire competition but slipped up for 70% of the semi-final. They regained their feet at stole victory from the petrified faces of the Pukke side as they watched a 21 point lead dwindle and Matt Rosslee's carter-esque game winner sail over. Final time baby...

Burnt!

Maties, the established superpower in (and behind) SA Rugby have not entrenched themselves this year as they have done historically but they managed an overtime penalty to beat Tukkies 47-44 to make the other place in the final theirs.

Due to a variety of logistics, politics and admin UCT had to forfeit their home ground advantage and have to travel to Stellenbosch for Monday nights final. If the competition is anything to go by expect a massive climax with all sorts of controversy and excitement.

This is what Monday looks like:

17h00: Steinhoff Dagbreek v UCT Colts
18h45: Steinhoff Maties v FNB UCT RFC.

It is going to be special...

A Sting in the Tail ...

According to media reports the first official challenges to J-Z’s installing himself as Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life have begun. Hugh Glenister, a self-described business (the Cape Times can make anything sound sinister) has instituted a court order against the ANC’s disbanding of the Scorpions. It seems our diminutive, but perfectly formed current president Thabo is going to oppose it, when just weeks ago he was fighting to keep them in business. Strings. Pulling. Puppets.


Jay-Z: Future South African President?

The good news is you can add your name to a growing number to keep the Scorpions open. And why wouldn't you want to. They're the the Rockstars of the law enforcement world.

Skinny, Black & Funny...

After the success of their MyCoke fest intiative 5Fm have raised the bar and taken a step further in the efforts to bring big names to our little part of the world.

5FM announced yesterday a stand up comedy tour of the one and only Chris Rock to tour SA. They refer you to their website for further details but unsurprisingly the site says nothing.

He is here for the first week of June, performing in Cape Town on the 4th June. Sick...

Finally we get to hear the 'clear heels' theory in person...

Rockstar of the Moment...

If you haven't heard about the success of Varsity Rugby this year you are either predisposed to watching Ugly Betty reruns on a Monday night or just don't give a hoot about rugby. Either way we don't like you...



If you want a rehash of UCT's domination of the Varsity Cup Competition or their breath stealing last gasp win at the death after the game's biggest comeback check out www.uctrfc.co.za or www.varsitycup.co.za.

Right now just enjoy this image as Rockstar of the Moment, Matt Rosslee's bangs over this long range effort to poach victory from the jaws of defeat. Right now, he must be the most famous guy on campus.

Photo spectacular...

Besides those of the countries employed population that actually have to do some work to earn a living there are a few out there whose job description doesn't actually include any work. Who are these people? Well these people mainly 'work' at Ernst and Young or other such auditing firms.

These photos are what these people audited this week and sent to us...

Bronze Medal!

Second Place!

First Prize!

Mullet Watch ...

It's nice to see the mullet being kept in the public eye. You've proabbly heard the story already so I'm not going to go into too much detail, but it seems the creature below was spotted at an H20 rave in Joburg (do people still rave?). Since then, largely due to the magical effect of his mullet, he's become an overnight sensation. He's pretty much our version of Chuck Norris. And yes, before you ask, he is from Benoni. Straight outta.

If you're on Facebook go take a look at the his group. There over 500 photos of him. That's more photo's than anyone needs.