Pieter and Jake...

Pieter and Jake met at Nino´s in Dean street this morning to catch up on a bit of yarn. (News Cafe in JHB was closed) Jake was sitting back sipping his skinny flat white when Pieter walked in. Pieter was carrying the Sunday paper and had a smug smile forcing it´s way out of from behind his harley davidson facial broom.


Pieter slapped the paper down on the table with the sports page facing Jake and said, ´Meneer, I am looking forward to 2009, I wish it was a World Cup year´.

Jake glanced up the and down the back page. He slid two envelopes over the table and winked at Pieter. Before Pieter could mouth anything from behind his nickleback toplip hairstyle Jake said:

´Sir, when you come last in the tri-nations this year, open the first envelope, it will keep you your job. Then when you lose all 4 tests on the end of year tour, open the second letter.´ Jake dropped a euro note next to his empty cup, grabbed his vespa helmet and left in a whirlwind of clapping patrons.


Sure enough, when Isma-eel Dollie missed 30 tackles, 4 shots at goal and 39 line clearances, in the Springboks embarrassing defeat to Australia at Loftus, SARU called Pieter in for a chat. Pieter opened the first letter. It read:

´You´ve fucked up. Blame it all on me and they´ll give you another chance. Love, Jake.´

Four month later James Hook kicked his 7th consecutive conversion to take the scoreline to 52-0 against the Springboks. The flight back for the Boks after losing to England, Scotland, Italy and Wales wasn´t pleasant! Earl Rose missed 756 tackles in 20minutes all tour. SARU smsed Pieter whilst he was waiting for the plane back at Heathrow letting him know they would need to meet in JHB on his return.

Sorry coach, but it was such a good dummy...

On the plane he opened the second letter:

´Dear Pieter, write two letter. Love Jake.´

Just because ...

Everyday's Christmas at Rockstar Journals

Increase your Libido by 100 fold ...

No, not really. Why are you even reading this? Do you have problem? Do you need viagra? Penis pump maybe? Surgical extension? Probably not. But if I get one more damn email offering to turn my wenis into a multi-coloured, 18-inch, rotating, vibrating pineapple-y tasting machine I might just start feeling like I do.

Two points. My first is a question, and the second is a comment.

1) How do these companies know I'm a guy when they email this junk to me? Or do girls get it too? I mean, I'm sure they get it but ... uh ... I'm just going to stop there.

2) I don't need it. It works just fine. My lady-friends all tell me it the size of the ship, not the motion of the ocean. Or was it the other way around? Either way, no complaints here. So stop sending me these ridiciulous emails.

No, it's fine really. The groupies are happy

Who, Who, Who are you..?

Here is an interesting news clip!

¨SA Rugby were scheduled to meet on Tuesday to choose the new three-man selection panel - expanded to include an ethnic black - but the meeting failed to take place. It is not clear when the new panel will be chosen.¨

Now that is an important panel to sit on. Sure, if you´re Sacks Ngwala from Southern West Bromich Bulldogs sitting on a Supersport discussion panel gives you the platform to voice your rugby views and opinions to basically the captive audience of pretty much the entire rugby supporters club in South Africa. Now that is a powerful position, one which our ex-frontranker from the London Underground sponsored 6th division rugby club handles with admirable success, but to hold a position that allows you to choose the actual make up of the side Sacks commentates on is envied by every SA rugby lover.

Plus you get to choose how the national coach has to do his job. If you want to pursue your whimsical opinion that Justin Peach is the heir incumbent to Percy´s 15 jersey, then so beat it, just enjoy watching poor Pieter suffer.

A strong Handle on things!

These are the candidates for the 2008 springbok selection panel:

The selection candidates are Wynand Claassen, Errol Tobias, McIntosh, Kaya Malotana, David Maidza, Lucky Menge, Freddie Makoki, Francois Davids, Jooste en Roland Bantom.

Now I assume you are fairly unfamiliar with many of these names so I´ve decide to enlighten you. I tested them on the only standard I know how: Google hits. I get nearly 200 k so that settles the debate whether this is a worthwhile yardstick.

Any halfwit rugby guru wiil be familiar with this lot so I´ve excluded them from the process: Wynand Claassen, Errol Tobias, McIntosh, Pieter Jooste.

Here we go, plus Grade rating.

Kaya Malotana: 320 hits – first one on google is from keo.co.za where he is berated for talking utter shit. 99 RWC Springbok and since he didn´t win a medal he can´t headline advertising campaigns. B+.

David Maidza: 1800 hits – technical adviser to the Spoornets Bulldogs who premises his rugby philosophy on scoring earlier in the half and then continuing to outscore the opponents. B.

Lucky Menge: 330 000 hits – still couldn´t find him specifically as all 330 000 hits were for Lucky Luke. I am not out-ruling the possibility that he is in fact the gunslinging wild west folk hero. A-.

Freddie Makoki: 1130 hits – deputy president of the Eastern Province Rugby Union, which is a good thing cause he will show no prejudice in selecting current Super 14 form. A.

Francois Davids: 12 100 hits – springbok convenor of selectors when Andre Vos still played. Pass. C.

Roland Bantom: Did you mean Roland Fantom? - from this we can only assume Mr Bantom is in fact a phantom. A++.

There you have it folks. You are now formally acquinted with all the candidates, their detailed history and personal information. You now have a stance of authority from which to criticism Sacks´ comments on this come the next round of Super 14.

America´s Hottest College Girl...



She is a democratic and won the run-off with a dykish looking republican with ease. Check out collegehumor.com for more pictures of here. I am no clairvoyant but I envisage a barrage of emails, inquiring whether this fake avril is the young lady that used to frequent Docstar´s bedroom...

Possible. But I´ve looked into it (would prefer to look into her but the queue is around the corner) and it is not the bethany-esque little person that drove Docstar´s trolley. Pretty sure she could be his guiatar playing crazy ex.

Speculation is rife as to whether she is possibly a combination of the two - making her the world´s most psycho chick...

HAPPY MOTHER´S DAY

Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate, Joanne,was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.


Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate than met the eye.

Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne & I are just flat mates'.

About a week later, Joanne came to Peter saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?

'Well I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure' said Peter.


So he sat down and wrote

DEAR MOTHER,

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID' TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE. I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID NOT' TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE PETER

Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read

DEAR SON,

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO NOT' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE F**KING FRYING PAN BY NOW.

LOVE MUM


We totally realise today isn´t Mother´s Day as it was last Sunday, but to us, Sunday was just the start of Mother´s Week...

¨Waratahs Backline seen breaking into an ATM in Hillbrow...¨

I am not sure if there are ATMs in Hillbrow but I speculate that there are. Also speculating that if Die Beeld was an english medium newspaper this would be it´s headline tomorrow. It would most certainly be that of the Star.

Unidentifiable criminal...

You see, in what must surely be an unprecedented event at O R Tambo International Airport, the Waratahs had 105 of their kits items vanish en route from Cape Town to Sydney. Unprecedented in the sense that it hasn´t happened to the Aussie´s before, not that baggage theft hasn´t happened at ORT.

"We've got no clothes or boots or mouthguards," skipper Phil Waugh told the Daily Telegraph.

The only equipment which made it back to Australia were a few rugby balls, tackle bags and hit pads.

"They just told us now none of it came," said coach Ewen McKenzie after passing through customs.

"We sat in Johannesburg for an hour and a half because of baggage issues, so I don't know what they were doing.

"They were shuffling around the deckchairs and there was obviously nothing there," added a frustrated McKenzie.

The players may be asked to wear their club gear or squeeze into their old school jerseys for Tuesday's training session.

"We'll have to do a bit of fudging," McKenzie said. "We are a pretty good team at adapting - we certainly don't look to use it as an excuse.

Lovely, stuff hey. As if touring SA isn´t enough of a hack with having to put up with all the old school Afrikaan´s rugby tactics of last minute training facility changes, making you wait at locked stadium gates and never catering for the full squad at official functions. True stories these. But to have your kit knicked before you get back home must really suck...

Point of advice: If you´re going to knick kit, do it when they arrive, and only do it to hot aussie golf stars.

I remember in 1994 two rugby balls signed by the entire British and Irish Lions touring squad was nicked from a hotel room in Durban. Their was a massive outcry not for the value of the balls but that they were intended to be auctioned off for a kids charity. Many scapegoats were cited, but it actually turned out that they were found in the bag of second-rate english centre Phil De´Glanvilles bag. He was more of a puss than a bad rugby player.

I doubt this applies here though. Don´t you just love Ewen McKenzie´s reaction?

I am off to fudge around a bit?

Wow...

Monday Medium Size Girl




It look 12 episodes but I still couldn´t decide whether this girl is ´too heavy´ or not. Decided she isn´t and that she is fit for Rockstar monday consumption! I did email the creators of Prison Back to put her on the diet Schoefield is on so there is no debate come season 4.

It was lank hard to find a picture of her online - maybe wide angle lens are hard to come by - but here she is with a co-star...

Van Wilder reads Rockstar...
...so would Keith Richards if he could read.

Although we’re well aware of the number of famous readers we have, we don’t usually draw attention to them. We’re not attention seekers; we just happened to be born camera ready. Still, it’s nice to know that we’re doing good in the lives of others.

Some of you know that Van Wilder, when he’s not dressed as Batman, is Ryan Reynolds. Some of you probably know he was engaged to Alanis Morissette. Some you might even know that he’s not anymore. Some of you might need to stop reading your girlfriend’s Heat magazines.

The good news is that following our guest columnist, Ari Goldstar’s, article, Ryan decided to follow our lead and upgrade his model for a better version, in this case Scarlett Johansson. Of course this was probably a no-brainer as I imagine having sex with Alanis Morissette is like having sex with a rattlesnake. Except that, at least with a rattlesnake you know what antidote to take.

If I were him I’d be so happy I’d probably just sign the marriage certificate with smiley faces. But it’s okay Ryan, no thanks needed. That’s what friends do for each other. They also let their fiancés have one last night of passion with the Rockstar’s editors. Fact.

Bizarrely it turns out that Keith Richard’s also reads (or has someone read to him) the Rockstar Journals. Paraphrasing from the same guest contributor, Keith told The Times this week “Show me a girl who’s faithful and I won’t believe you”. Or at least that’s what the journalist heard coming out of Keith’s drug-addled coma. He could have just been repeating the recipe for LSD.

For sale:

Tall, dark, in very good health despite current ankle setback. Internationally renowned, capable at both 10 and 12. Also can model so if you aren´t looking to build a team around him you can dress him in jockey and create a tasteful living room center piece. Asking price: SQ



Possible buyers:

Toulon: But only if they play top 14 next year. (Midi-Olympique claims that his earnings will be €700 000 plus €100 000 for his image rights. That would be for just one season, making Carter the highest piad rugby player in the world.)

Chelsea: So he can stand in Mrs Abromivich´s living room along with Lionel Messi.

Sold to the man in the funny hat...

South Africa loves to rate itself very highly in numerous things and one such area in which we highly regard ourselves is that of exporting internationally sought after commodities.


Gold and diamonds that dominate the world market have their origins in our deep and open cast mines. We export wine of such a great quality even Italians secretly enjoy it, and recently we have begun distilling market claiming agarve tequila. Our supermodels are everywhere. Our rugby coaches are everywhere and just about every tight five in Europe has a second rower from north of the Jukskei. Some type of pool filtration system, certain attack helicopters and those nifty umbrella shaped outdoor gas heaters all account for South Africa's addition to world technology.

Well step a side, Bakkies, Victor, Pinot rouge and Minki, we have a new export that is making the world dip into their cheque books like an art freak at half price Matisse auction. Ladies and gentleman, item 5 on your auction sheet is Mr Leonard McCarthy.

The former Scorpions boss has jumped ship or should I say shore, and left the flailing boat that was his old employer the DSO thanks to political bullshit and has been scouted and poached by the World Bank as VC for their department of Institutional Integrity.


World Bank big dog Rob Zoellick had this to say, ¨Leonard McCarthy is recognised worldwide for his integrity, independence and effectiveness in fighting corruption and strengthening good governance."

He sounds like such a rockstar we could presume you would want him to headline your country´s anti-corruption unit, unless you were of course a corrupt politician that stood to be investigated by him and you had the power to disband his unit...

Monday Girl,


Short, dark and overboard sexy...

Open letter to Substitute lecturer for CRJ4001W

Dear Madam Lecturer,

It is with great trepidation that I tackle this letter, but I soldier on as I think the purpose behind it is a pertinent one which requires urgent attention. You have acted as a worthy substitute lecturer for the better part of a semester this year and I must laud the manner in which you have confronted the difficult task and the temerity you have shown in persevering thus far.

I believe it not necessary to engage with how arduous the task is of lecturing a class of final year law students for a person of even the highest qualification but do deem it worthwhile to engage with your approach to the task.

We are blessed in our faculty in that the large majority of our resident lecturers are academic leaders in their chosen field but we are conversely also cursed with the resultant propensity of these aforementioned academic authorities to be drawn from our hallowed lecture halls to complete stints away from the faculty such as to be acting judicial officials, key research anchors on commissions of enquiry with significant legal importance and to take lengthy personal sabbaticals.

This logistical conundrum has obviated the need for dedicated, intelligent people, like you, to take over the reigns to the microphone and the bridle of the slide projector to lead the army that is our class toward the compulsory 2 grade points we need to graduate.

Your actions so far in stepping into the shoes of our unavailable lecturer have been invaluable. You have not simply just regurgitated the very precise and detailed course material our AWOL lecturer left you to the class but instead delivered it in clear and audible English language without compromising the cogent structure she laid it out in for you. I can attest that failing to do these things is usually the default position for people in your position. However, despite your commendable approach thus far, I do wish to share a few pointers.

Lecturing, like public speaking, requires the very hallmark of addressing a crowd; a confident and clear eloquences. However, lecturing extends beyond mere public speaking as it also requires the lecturer to interrelate with the multitude of expectant learners. This is by no means a simple task, and one you by no means have mastered.

I am sure if you cast your experienced mind back to the days before you became a successful trial advocate to when you were a mere law student yourself you will vividly remember the ‘type’ of student who attempts to complete an LLB. They are truly unique.

Unashamedly they will place themselves at the top of the academic pile. They will compare their astute ‘academicness’ with Actuarial Scientists, their ability for open debate and forum with doctoral politics students and their ‘hands on’ practical ability with community serving medical surgeons.

Alas, they are mistaken, as their academic ability transcends no further than a few undergraduate English assignments, their debating ability no further than domestic quibbles in the chicken burger queue and their pragmatism no further than their futile efforts for a fine reduction in the traffic department.

Unfortunately, their insufficiencies in these regards are far less glaring to themselves as it is to the rest of our university’s community. We should appreciate a lecturer who fields questions from confused students but allowing a law student to speak can be lecture suicide.

I candidly now refer to our double lecture last Friday. I urge you to beware of the student who, when permitted to speak, begins his 3 minute soliloquy with ‘I have two points, the first of which is a comment, whilst the second is a comment’. Now let’s remain mindful that a lecture is under no circumstance an opinion soapbox for which a student can air their mental conjecture on a whim. For that we have Facebook and tutorials. Secondly, I urge us to beware of people that introduce their questions two-fold: by raising their hand and then by beginning with ‘my question is’. They haven’t even got to the salient purpose of their question and they are already repeating themselves, from this it is blatantly apparent that they have no question and are rather using your affable demeanor in persisting to field their views as a platform from which they can tautologically voice their opinions before a crowd.

I implore you to sift through the sea of hands every lecture point of yours receives with a fastidious caution as there exists an overwhelming chance that that arm is vertical not for their own benefit to be taught a point but rather for their own benefit in hearing the sound of their own semi-retarded brain.

The more engaging you are with them the more they are encouraged to derail our lecture, please don’t allow them to continue unhindered.

Kinds Regards,

GH

Pool Party?


It is more than 1,000 yards long, covers 20 acres, had a 115ft deep end and holds 66 million gallons of water.

Yesterday the Guinness Book of Records named the vast pool beside the sea in Chile as the biggest in the world.

But if you fancy splashing out on one of your own - and you have the space to accommodate it - then beware: This one took five years to build, cost nearly 1billion and the annual maintenance bill will be 2million.

The man-made saltwater lagoon has been attracting huge crowds to the San Alfonso del Mar resort at Algarrobo, on Chile 's southern coast, since it opened recently.


Its turquoise waters are so crystal clear that you can see the bottom even in the deep end.

It dwarfs the world's second biggest pool, the Orthlieb - nicknamed the Big Splash - in Morocco , which is a mere 150 yards long and 100 yards wide. An Olympicsize pool measures some 50 yards by 25 yards.

Chile's monster pool uses a computer- controlled suction and filtration system to keep fresh seawater in permanent circulation, drawing it in from the ocean at one end and pumping it out at the other.

The sun warms the water to 26c, nine degrees warmer than the adjoining sea.

Chilean biochemist Fernando Fischmann, whose Crystal Lagoons Corporation designed the pool, said advanced engineering meant his company could build "an impressive artificial paradise" even in inhospitable areas.

Chilly?

Monday again...


I know we have had her before, many times, but it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

Rambo II

Susan "Rambo" Shabangu is at it again. After dispensing with the need to fire warning shots when shooting at criminals, she's now given the go-ahead to gun them down on the street. Which, when you think about it is pretty sweet. It certainly gives me an excuse to pull out the John Wayne costume I wore last Halloween and strap on my .45. Unfortunately, it's this kind of unclear thinking that slows down progress in South Africa. Violence only begets more violence. Hence Rambo II - V.


Now, if I can just find me some criminals.

The Flying...


Thankfully our rockstar web (revel in my witty play on words) creeps further around the surface of the globe than most would expect. We're so clever, handsome and inciteful (sic - meant insightful) that you're actually a moron to think our influence doesn't extend so.

Well it does, and as a result our sharp rockstar prodigies in far away countries are poised, shoulder blades against the bar surveying society like they own it. Which, if they are employing all the skills they've been taught and talents they've been given they do own it!

Own it sweetheart, own it own it...

So you wondering what this has to do with caravans. Very simply our foreign rockstar scout spotted this in Austin, Texas (where he bangs the College quarterback's little sister) and thought he'd send it in so we could share it.



Truly amazing...

Classic!

In Defense of Elitism

As if it requires defending …

Occasionally we get emails, or comments from people who happen to stumble across The Journals. They run along the lines of - you're too arrogant, you're misogynistic, you think you're too cool. It's very simple, if you think that, then is the wrong place for you. I found this floating around the interweb and thought it was pretty appropriate, so I adapted it. Next time someone asks you why you read this site, just refer them here.

"Rockstar Journals is exclusive. We exclude. It is not a question of elitism vs. egalitarianism because there can be no question; the black belt is elite, the white belt is not. The black belt is earned through long, difficult work, rigorous education, commitment, and persistence. Not everyone gets a black belt. It's not ultimate frisbee. We invite rockstars here because they foster the environment we prefer. Rockstars surround themselves with others of a similar or higher caliber – both mental and physical – and improve by doing so. "

"The parallel motive has to do with choosing who we want to spend our limited time with: why would we open our arms to any and everyone? "

Monday Girl...


tasty...

Oh Lord, I Apologize ...

Monday Girl...

lashed..!

“Kill those Bastards”

Not as you might think, a line from the 6th installation of the Rambo series, creatively entitled Rambo. God that’s confusing - wasn’t the first one called Rambo? How can anyone tell the difference? Especially since Sly Stallone had himself cryogenically frozen and pumped with polar bear growth hormone for the last 20 odd years. Fact.

Anyway, Rambo didn’t say it. Susan Shabangu did. Of course, I don’t need to tell you that she’s our Deputy Safety and Security Minister. Though not. Despite the striking physical similarity to John Rambo, and her complete and utter disregard for the law, as well as her belief we should just go out and kill criminals, she’s nothing like the kind-hearted, bunny-hugging, steroid-taking Rocky Balboa.


For one, she hasn’t written, directed and starred in an Oscar winning movie. For another, she told people to ignore the Constitution (it’s kind of a big deal in South Africa) and that some human lives are worth more than others. Rambo knew that all lives were worth the same. Even if he thought they weren’t worth anything.

Rambo, firing a clear warning shot

"I want no warning shots. You have one shot and it must be a kill shot. If you miss, the criminals will go for the kill. They don't miss. We can't take this chance.” Seriously? Even Rambo took warning shots.

UPDATE: Well done Susan. Who ever said our government never get's anything done. It appears a forward thinking Cape Town man, responding to a smash-and-grab attempt, managed to chase the violent criminal down the road, whereby said criminal dropped stolen goods. Of course, not needing to fire a warning shot, he just shot the would be mugger in the chest. Oh, and the violent offender was a 12 year old kid. Great work Susan. Good lucking explaining this one to John Rambo.

To Hell and Back...

You didn't have to be too perceptive to notice that the busy tourist hub of Cape Town has been overrun by a sea of black leather flak jackets, a plethora of metal body piercings and enough epithelial ink art to breed an army of Michael Schoefield's.


The occasion? The Annual International Hell's Angels Convention.

I kid you not, if you have spent anytime in the last 14 days anywhere in town, be it long street, the camps bay strips or the waterfront, you will have stumbled upon at least 35 of these metal and leather glad bike vikings.

With places like Wales, England, Sweden etc embalzoned on their uniform one can't help but realise we have an eclectic fusion of international hell's angels spending time in our little city.





Apparently - and I emphasise this as I heard it and can't corroborate it - they are here for a international symposium of sorts. You fucking kidding? That is flippin' hilarious...

Obviously this would beg the question, so where the fuck are their harleys? Did they ride to a Spanish port and then kingsley holgate is through Africa?


The answer, and again apparently, is that they don't have bikes. Okay, so you're a club founded on motorcycles and you host international rally's in places you can't take you bikes? Logic?

Explanation, apparently (not sure why I keep admitting the hearsay nature of everything since most of what we post is usually hearsay), they shipped their bikes here in a container but the cargo ship transporting them got detained at some Western African port. Now that's fucking hilarious...


Despite the fact that both the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Criminal Intelligence Service Canada classify the Angels as one of the "big four" outlaw motorcycle gangs, contending that members carry out widespread violence, drug dealing, trafficking in stolen goods, and extortion and you would usually associate motorcylce gangs as rampant aggressive oafs they have prove quite the contrary.


They are very polite, very well-mannered, and shown no incidents of malice AND they are very generous when it comes to tipping. And as you can see from them dominating the camps bay strip they love a good mojito, frozen strawberry daiquiri and the odd frozen Margarita. Who would have guessed..?

Monday Angel...

lovely...

It depends what your definition of 'is' is?

'May I know your name?..'
'Batman...'

'May I know your name?'
'My name is Bat-man...'

'Trying to be funny?!. What is your surname?..'
'Supar-man...'

'I want to speak with your manager...'

Bring it home...

Some things you just can't overemphasise or exaggerate on. Even people like myself - who am I kidding no one is like myself but for arguments sake lets keep it - skilled in the art of hyperbole can't manage to make Monday into something bigger than it really is...

The Final of Varsity Cup...

The jink, the swerve, Over!

We have intermittently commented on the VC and UCT's success at shoving a big strong hand off into the face of everything that is Afrikaans but Monday looks to be the coup de grace in the effort.

UCT dominated the entire competition but slipped up for 70% of the semi-final. They regained their feet at stole victory from the petrified faces of the Pukke side as they watched a 21 point lead dwindle and Matt Rosslee's carter-esque game winner sail over. Final time baby...

Burnt!

Maties, the established superpower in (and behind) SA Rugby have not entrenched themselves this year as they have done historically but they managed an overtime penalty to beat Tukkies 47-44 to make the other place in the final theirs.

Due to a variety of logistics, politics and admin UCT had to forfeit their home ground advantage and have to travel to Stellenbosch for Monday nights final. If the competition is anything to go by expect a massive climax with all sorts of controversy and excitement.

This is what Monday looks like:

17h00: Steinhoff Dagbreek v UCT Colts
18h45: Steinhoff Maties v FNB UCT RFC.

It is going to be special...

A Sting in the Tail ...

According to media reports the first official challenges to J-Z’s installing himself as Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life have begun. Hugh Glenister, a self-described business (the Cape Times can make anything sound sinister) has instituted a court order against the ANC’s disbanding of the Scorpions. It seems our diminutive, but perfectly formed current president Thabo is going to oppose it, when just weeks ago he was fighting to keep them in business. Strings. Pulling. Puppets.


Jay-Z: Future South African President?

The good news is you can add your name to a growing number to keep the Scorpions open. And why wouldn't you want to. They're the the Rockstars of the law enforcement world.

Skinny, Black & Funny...

After the success of their MyCoke fest intiative 5Fm have raised the bar and taken a step further in the efforts to bring big names to our little part of the world.

5FM announced yesterday a stand up comedy tour of the one and only Chris Rock to tour SA. They refer you to their website for further details but unsurprisingly the site says nothing.

He is here for the first week of June, performing in Cape Town on the 4th June. Sick...

Finally we get to hear the 'clear heels' theory in person...

Rockstar of the Moment...

If you haven't heard about the success of Varsity Rugby this year you are either predisposed to watching Ugly Betty reruns on a Monday night or just don't give a hoot about rugby. Either way we don't like you...



If you want a rehash of UCT's domination of the Varsity Cup Competition or their breath stealing last gasp win at the death after the game's biggest comeback check out www.uctrfc.co.za or www.varsitycup.co.za.

Right now just enjoy this image as Rockstar of the Moment, Matt Rosslee's bangs over this long range effort to poach victory from the jaws of defeat. Right now, he must be the most famous guy on campus.

Photo spectacular...

Besides those of the countries employed population that actually have to do some work to earn a living there are a few out there whose job description doesn't actually include any work. Who are these people? Well these people mainly 'work' at Ernst and Young or other such auditing firms.

These photos are what these people audited this week and sent to us...

Bronze Medal!

Second Place!

First Prize!

Mullet Watch ...

It's nice to see the mullet being kept in the public eye. You've proabbly heard the story already so I'm not going to go into too much detail, but it seems the creature below was spotted at an H20 rave in Joburg (do people still rave?). Since then, largely due to the magical effect of his mullet, he's become an overnight sensation. He's pretty much our version of Chuck Norris. And yes, before you ask, he is from Benoni. Straight outta.

If you're on Facebook go take a look at the his group. There over 500 photos of him. That's more photo's than anyone needs.