Are you THAT guy?



If you are reading this site, there is a good chance you aren´t! Although if you are simultaneously surfing porn pics of Geanie D then you aren´t.

Harsh not fair call on the livestrong band though...

Classics never die...

Can anyone direct me as to where I can catch video reels of past Varsity Cup games? You might think I am looking for the Shimlas tool last year that did a judo roll followed by a short sharp karate chop against UCT in George, but thankfully I have him on PVR already. No what I am looking for is this years BEST tryscoring celebration so far..!

Fall Out Boy: Dance, Dance...

Casey Laulala has been leading a competitive pack this season with some horrific chicken dances and waddlewiggles but the inside centre from TUT produced an absolute cracker when he scored in their thumping loss to UCT not too long ago.

Standing tall behind groove bar!

Our boy ran off his live-wire scrumhalfs sniping break to collect a neat pass and his ostrich style running earned him the final 40m home free to score under the polls. But then our man did the unspeakable. Back in the day of Danie Gerber and Divan Serfontein an Afrikaans gentlemen showing emotion on the rugby field was akin to sleeping with your sister in the back of the ox-wagon, or at least insofar as you got caught. It seems things have changed.

Our Man Tjaart (name NOT changed to protect identity.

The punishment for on field flapdoodle was you had to drink a bottle of spiced gold in the after match blacktie function. In stark protest to this our man from Tshwane Tech (a 4th year repeat 1st year woodturning scholar) broke tradition and celebrated his try against UCT by standing behind the polls on one leg, other leg raised out at 90 degrees, knee bent!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

No irony is lost here, but the game was.

Love Actually...

Our International Man of Mystery spent the summer in South Africa leaving a brethren of deceit and broken hearts back in London. He was out trying to attain a highly (unlikely) skilled visa and is now back in the Big Smoke, but has this Valentines story to relay.

Back in London he left one encounter a little open ended and a fair amount of ´history´ existed between him and one girl, lets call her Suzie. His good friend and practical joker the Rickster decided to use our Man´s valentine absence as an opportunity to take a little it of the piss. So he took it upon himself, without even a shred of agreed upon agency, to deliver flowers to Suzie on behalf of our man. The Rickster arrived at her house with a beautiful bunch of Pakistan´s finest red roses.

The Rickster!

Now young Rickster, also has a history of binge drinking and taking down ugly London girls and just a week prior had kissed something he found at the bottom of a beer keg. Over that week this thing! had cyber stalked the Rickster obtaining his cellphone number, email address, facebook profile and residential address and was in hot pursuit. Rickster had been nothin short of evasive in 7 days, cringing at the memory of her skin tight Fulham supporters tights and sweaty cleavage.

Back to present beaming Rickster knocked on Suzie´s door lavishing in the future problems he was to cause our Man of mystery, and one can only imagine his surprise when what opened the door on his 3rd knock was not one Suzie, but rather her temporary flatmate, Rickster´s obese Fulham screaming wench.

Needless to say the Fulham Floozie anticipated the flowers were for her and rejoiced for a full 5 minutes attacking Ricksters muscly pecs until he could unpin himself from her vice-like love clench and explain that he was merely the messenger. Lovely stuff...

Monday girl...


Slick.

A fair fight..?

The most important thing about any match up is that the competitors are fairly matched. If there is an underdog challenger he needs to have the mettle to fight it out with the incumbent champ. Some fights just aren´t fair whereas others are brilliant.

Buzz Aldrine v Buzz Lightyear. Fair!
Komodo dragon v Velociraptor. Fair!
Freddy Mercury v Mika. Fair.
Pepsi v Coke. Fair.
Sharks v Stormers. Unfair.
Bishop Mvume Dandala v Jacob Zuma. Unfair!

Pointing fingers?

The challenging political party named the honourable Bishop Mvume Dandala as their candidate to run against the overwhelmingly stronger ANC, who still has JZ as their party candidate.

The best Bernie Mac impression in town!

One is a man of the cloth, the other the man of the loin cloth and shower and fraud charges and political meddling and machine gun. The mind boggles...

The Gym Files...

After pointing out the hair styling antics of certain gym patrons recently we have been flooded with anecdotes from various readers pertaining to similar gym disbelief stories.

Heart rate monitor in a sports bra. Your pulse going yet?

Andrew interestingly drew our attention to one elderly gentlemen at Claremont Virgin Active who insists on showering with his heart rate monitor on! Andrew quips - is he showering at 80% of his max?

Monday Girl.



Cleaning it.

Public Indecency...

The mens change room at the Wembly Virgin Active has a set of public morals unique only into itself and maybe a 4 A.D roman mens only plunge pool and steam bath. The place for a good looking guy is about as safe a muslim lady unraveling her burka in front of in laws.

However, despite the admittedly low threshold of social acceptability in the venue it still has a modicum of decorum, and last night I witnessed it being broken.

Blowdryers are for chicks...

Apparently the current universal trend in anti-curled hair, and a preference for the straight back length has prompted men world wide to add either a GHD or a hairdryer to their grooming arsenal. I shit you not. Now as suitable for comment as this is, we must remember what you do in the privacy of your bedroom remains your prerogative. Breach your actions into the real world and you put yourself up for attack.

As I was attempting a quick exit to escape the towel snapping of the little spandex clad princess with a beard that lurks by the scale I noticed this dude sporting boardshorts and a vest with his head reversed and wedged under the wall mounted hand dryer attempting to airheat iron the wetness in his mullet.

My fuckin´ word, I have seen some weird things in gym but a man double bent over with his head virtually in the urinal trying to blowdry the back of his head is not one of them. Amazing...

A little more than you bargained for...

Forking out an amount of money for a product, item or experience and then finding out there are ancillary costs is a bit of a hack, or if you get less than what you paid for. However, the converse is one of the slickest things around...

I´ll do one...

My weekend had a bit of both. Getting scouted for the Cape Town 10s was meant to allow me to relive the glory days of try scoring celebrations and massive hits, but instead my efforts only yielded ridiculously hot playing time at a competitive level I was hoping to avoid.

Thankfully Sunday saw my poor luck rewarded as a little visit to Kirstenbosch for Arno Carstens developed into something special.

Arno threw a serious vibe and a few of his Another Universe album hits around like JZ throws around attempts to derail the justice system, and then Arno, again like JZ, said goodbye and walked off...

However...

On walks some long haired roadie looking guy who saunters around on stage, throws a little wave and plugs in his guitar. After about a minute of strumming whilst the crowd packed up its cheese and wine, back on walks Arno.

He points to the haired dude, and says, I would like you to all meet Theo Crous.... and WE ARE THE SPRINGBOK NUDE GIRLS.


Slick. They jammed 30 minutes of Nude Girls hits. Very rad...

Monday Girl.



. . .

Monday. G. I. R. L.


Peace and love.

Super...

Just in case you were planning to get to bed early on sunday before a hectic week at work or were aiming at wrapping up the ice hurling blonde at Groove bar before 12am come sunday evening think again.


Pittsburgh Steelers v Arizona Cardinals in SUPERBOWL 43. The game seemingly lacks some of the hype of previous years with the Cardinals being a non-entity in NFL history and the Steelers not carrying an 18-0 record like the Pats did last year BUT the outsider Giants did upset things last year so expect the chance of that happening again.

Big Ben: Been there done that...

I´ll still pvr it though...the first day at work after a 2 and a half month holiday is more important...

It runs through a river...

Looking into the murky green water of Muizenburg from a very stable albeit very hollow paddle board is a harrowing experience. You don´t really know what lurks below the surface, what dark skinned denizen looks up at your sizing you up like a slow moving wounded seal. I think it is probably safer to swim in a pool, or a river.

Actually scratch the river idea. This was found 5.5km up a river. Yes, 5500m away from the sea.

The website revealing the research going on up the Breede river reports that this shark is 0.5m LONGER than the biggest ever recorded Zambezi shark. 4m of eating machine, and what is better is that after releasing her back into the water the researchers confirmed that she was pregnant.

River rafting anyone?

The devil reads rockstar...

Had a discussion recently with a rockstar reader about the direction of the site and its current lack of postings. We made some good points, and made some progressive conclusions. The height of which was that since it´s a lifestyle not just a morass of text uploads it would never actually die, it is inherently immortal, kinda like wingtips brogues.

The devil eye fucks rockstar...

So while you have wingtips on your feet, feel content that you will always have RSLJ on your macbook. Interestingly today we recieved the following sms from a rockstar leader.

¨I was just sitting at a computer on campus reading rockstar and this little black guy next to me saw what I was reading and decided to take it upon himself to convert me. I hope you´re proud of yourself...¨

Fuckin' proud...

No more Monday Night Yoga...

Official sponsors? Olmeca Black...

It is that time of the year again, except that 'that' time as unexpectedly arrived pre-maturely. It is not often that a rugby season gets under way before woolworths start selling Easter Eggs but this year both have happened in January. Let us begin.


Monday Night sees the re-ignition of the Varsity Cup Rugby Competition with all 8 sides featuring in round 1. As always the fireworks on the schedule will be coming from UCT's Groote Schuur Green Mile at 16h45 as the Tigers host Maties in a 2008 final rematch. Tensions will be high and the rugby superb.

UCT COLTS NATIONAL CHAMPIONS 2008: VARSITY CUP KOSHUIS

Pack your anglocentric accent and your blue and white hoops, it is going to get hectic.

Mmm...onday girl...



x

What are you doing dave..?


This is fairly interesting plus you know how much we enjoy social experimentation.

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Bostonand the seats averaged $100.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, on one of the finest instruments in the world - how many other things are we missing?

Monday Girl...


Nice.

Halvies...

So with the Queen´s Plate having been such a fuckfest of success for all involved the J&B Met has some tough horseshoes to fill. However, with the loss of the Caprice tent as a race day fixture, it would seem the day now holds even less appeal. Regardless of this we are looking to invest in the industry so sending out this plea.

All,

We am trying to find someone wanting a share in half a racehorse.

We have been given the opportunity to buy a half share in a race horse but haven't got the funds at the moment so are wondering if you would like to buy a share in our half of the horse.

We have attached a video picture of 'Stormin Norman' in full gallop (see below).
If you are interested give us a call to discuss details or we can chat about it next week.

Best Regards,

RSJ.

Put your hands up in the air...


How is it that the only guy not protecting his face is the one that gets walloped? Even the 8 month old baby girl had the sense of mind to raise her arms...